|
|
|
|
Thinking StrategicallyAs you mediate, as you negotiate, and even as you fight in court, you need to ask yourself these three questions constantly:
How much is this issue worth to me in today's dollars?We're talking here about something called the time value of money. If you already understand the time value of money, great. If you don't, click here for a quick explanation. You must understand it to negotiate well in divorce. When people ask me what mistake I see people make most often in divorce, it's easy to answer. In divorce, I see people every day argue about an issue, lay down a gauntlet about an issue, pay their lawyer thousands of dollars to fight over an issue, all without knowing what the issue is really worth to them or to their spouse. Your lawyer may not think to ask the question either, so it's up to you. Ask consistently and insistently, until you understand the real value to you of the issues that are open. How likely is it that I'll win?Most lawyers are pretty good about telling you what they think the chances are that you'll prevail, so this one comes pretty easily. The problem I see here is not with lawyers, it's with clients. That's you. It's sometimes easy in the heat of divorce to disregard the warnings your lawyer is giving you that you're likely to lose. Not much to say about that other than to note that it happens. What is it costing me to fight about it?Lawyers are terrible at this, and so are clients. Lawyers don't want to raise it, because they're naturally reluctant to talk about their fees. Clients don't want to raise it, because they're generally trying to avoid thinking about it. Think about it. Talk about it. And you're not just talking about the lawyer's fee. You're talking about other costs, too:
You need to know the answer to all three questions. If you don't know the answers, or if you can't tell from the answers that you need to keep fighting, it's time to explore a graceful concession. |
|
|
