Divorce/lump sum pension payout

[dazedandcofused]

I was married for about 30 years,though we have lived apart for about 19 of those years,we never legally sperated..My husband got a 'no fault" Divorce 10-06.My daughter and I looked over Divorce papers she said they seemed fine .I signed them.Did not go to court .I have loads of health issues.Have not worked  most all my life.The Divorce papers state that I am to get 50 % percent of his pension,401k,etc:In a lump sum amount.I have not gotten it yet.The Divorce papers said that he had 30,000 and I was to get 15,000 of it.The Divorce papers said that  had  had 45 days to give me the lump sum amount. (He has been at this same job for about 20 years now)He told our daughter something about wanting to wait until after the holidays) Did not know that I could do anything about that at the time.Finally,I called and asked when am I getting  the pension check.He said he had to talk to his accountant,he had to wait until his tax forms  came in,he wanted to see if he could  remortgage his home (he got the house after he moved,I signed off on the his as soon as he got it) He said he thought he couykl give me 5,000 here 6,000 there..I said NO,I wanted the whole lump sum amount.He then said that  the maybe he could get the whole amouunt from the remortgage of his home but the I would I wolud have to pay the taxes since I was the one getting the money.But,it`s not my home,my mortgage ?Again,I said NO.I wanted the money to be from the pension funds,etc;Because that is what we agreed on.That way I could put it in an IRA .He the called me back and said that I had to sign a w9 form,I said NO to that also.(I have 0 income and do not fill out tax papers,so,need help on what taxes I will be responsible for.) I spoke to a lawyer,she said  my x needs to  get this lump sum amount in a  a QDRO,so he has to get a court order for that .Told him,but do not know  if he will.I do not even know if it is a good thing to do.I am so lost ,so confused.I am trying to stay on the good terms. with him that we have always had  BUT ,I don`t want to get ,well,let`s just say taken advantage of.It after all ,is the only thing I wanted and legally deserve.So,anyone,everyone,someone..HELP.I want any and every advice you have to offer.I think that it is my responibility to  go to an accountant after I get the money.He keeps acting like I have to sign something  with and for him.He will be calling soon.I am a nervous wreck.I am dazed and confused .I am desperate for your advice.I have 0 amount of money for a lawyer ,hopefully,Iwill not need one....Thanks to all of you who take the time to reply..Gratefull forever and a day...Me 1

[safetobemeguy]

First question is does he have a simple employment history?  Each employer will likely have given him vested rights to a pension.  Then he could have a 401k or IRA or 403c or 457 pretax savings with each one.  If it was one employer it is easy.  You see how the web grows if he has mutable.  You need to have the pensions appraised and there are people who to this for $200 per plan.  Once you get a handle on the total you need to have a QDRO drawn up to transfer the agreed 50% transfered to an account you open in your name.  Not hard but a little complicated.  If you need to hire a lawyer to do this you may seek relief to the law bill from court too.  He is lucky to have you as an agreeable Ex, now you need to be careful to get the letter of what is due.  Don't quibble over the small stuff but see you get the bulk of what you have coming.

Don