abandonment

[Tina Marshall]

If I have been faithful and although no real concrete problems, my spouse has asked me to leave the house ("doesn't love me anymore") and our three children, will this affect me adversely, as considering that I "abandoned" the family in the event of divorce?   Thank you.

[Lee Borden]

You should have little concern with any fear that you would be abandoning your spouse or your children, particularly since your spouse requested you to leave. Just make sure you (1) provide your spouse with all the necessary information about how to contact you and (2) provide any support for your spouse or your children that would be appropriate.

However, that's not to say that it's a good idea to leave. Visit with a lawyer before you move out of the house to find out what effect this would have on your claim to the house, as well as on child custody. Also. ask your lawyer to help you think through an appropriate level of support for your children. You want the level that's high enough to make it clear you're not trying to starve your spouse out, but if it's too high you may be setting a financial pace that "locks you in" at that level. And even if it doesn't do that, you never want to give your spouse a disincentive to settle.