settlement questions

[nowwhat]

Going to try posting here also since I have never dealt with this stuff before-

Finally got a call to come down to the attorney's office to go over the proposed settlement [long sad story] on Thursday.  I am looking for anything I should be especially careful in the wording of the document so things don't get screwed up.  Also, I want to have my accountant look it over before they send it to the stbx's attorney so I am covered for tax purposes.  Any reason this doesn't sound like a good idea?  Besides I DON'T want the stbx to get this before the graduation of my daughter on Sunday.  Betting the wisdom of this board will help me out again   

nowwhat

[needhelp]

if there are any payments to be made, then there is a deadline for those payments.  Example:  For reimbursement of medical expenses, have it stated that bills will be turned over within X number of days.  The other party has X number of days from receipt of bills to make payment.

Look for *any* gray areas.  You don't want something that can be interpreted different ways.  It all needs to be black & white.

[livealittle]

did you see my reply to this on the other board?

http://divorceinfo.com/heo/index.php/topic,2084.0.html

[needhelp]

I thought of.  Make sure any joint loans are to be refinanced by a particular date.  If ex defaults and you are on the loan, then you are stuck.  Also, make sure for any joint titles you hold that you each sign over & file the paperwork now (cars & home).  6 years later, I'm jumping through hoops trying to sell a trailer that the ex's name is on (and that's with cooperation from the ex).

Also, make sure all joint credit cards, bank accounts, etc are already closed.  Run a credit report so you can see if there are any you've forgotten about.  I'd also put a line in there that any debts incurred past "certain date" are ex's responsibility alone.  My ex tried to get me to sign a 1/2 of all existing debts, but my lawyer pointed out that I didn't know what he had purchased during the separation.

[nowwhat]

Thanks these are some things I had not thought of and since I was about ready to fire my attorney for not moving on this [isn't a month a long time to wait?] I am not real sure I trust his judgement.  Too expensive to hire another one when all that needs to be done is the settlement.

nowwhat

[nowwhat]

Okay so I am back from the attorney's shaking my head.  The LA drew up the settlement and she "dropped" some of the items on my list because:

She thinks the change in the pension numbers if big enough that if he agrees to those it should be okay.

WTF why would she make these kind of decisions for me and where is my attorney?  I didn't hire her, I hired the attorney.  Not happy with this turn of events.  At least I kept my cool, got out of the office without responding.  Now I have shoved the papers in the drawer to think about over the weekend.  Yes, the difference in the pension numbers is significant but why should I not get repaid for money I have spent on his coverage [medical and car insurance] along with some of the house stuff?  This is a few thousand dollars so I am not whining about a couple of hundred.  Blows me away she would just decide what should be included based on her whim    Is this normal to deal with the LA rather than the attorney?  Guess I am getting a discounted rate then right 

nowwhat

[livealittle]

like any professional service person, the attorney meets with the clients, represents them in court, etc.....the staff does everything else.  I agree with you she shouldn't have changed what you asked for.  How long has she been doing this?  Good for you for keeping your cool and I think it is smart to think about it a day or two before responding.  Now.....let's solve the problem

1 - define the problem - what I got from your post was papers were not drawn up as you specified...
2- state how you want it resolved
3 - write this out and then type a letter to your attorney stating clearly what has happened.
4 - on Monday or Tuesday or whenever you are ready, call and state the items in the letter and see if you get results, if you don't, then send the letter. 


like any business transaction, you hired them to do a service for you.  They did not perform the service as you specified.  They need to do it as you requested and in your letter you should say that you expect them to rectify this situation immediately and not at your expense.

that's what I would do.......

you will probably have better results with this approach than with getting angry and upset about it and blasting into someone....kudos to you for holding it together.

good luck

[lost]

should I not get repaid for money I have spent on his coverage [medical and car insurance]
nowwhat

Was this coverage since you separated, or while married? I know that my ex's first wife tried to get money for insurance premiums, but they had it for years while they were married so it didn't make sense to reimburse something that happened while married and living together. She even tried to get reimbursed for auto insurance. Some things are debts you have while married and that's that. But premiums for children, etc. should be decided upon.  She also tried to get his pension with no success. They were married 27 years. I guess much depends on the strength of the attorney.

And I also believe that the more reasonable the requests, the faster and easier the process is. You've received excellent advice from others here about what to ask for...good luck.

[nowwhat]

Once I filed the attorney was VERY explicit I could not change any of the insurance coverage even though he had moved out.  He has medical at his work but I had to continue paying the premiums for him.  It was a joint car insurance but again I ended up paying the cost cuz my name is on both cars and the attorney insisted I  not change the insurance.  Also, we paid cash for his car 2 years ago but put a joint loan on mine.  I have been making all the bill payments mortgage included but he wants to have half the equity in the house.  He left in October so I think the payments since then on the house should go to MY side of the balance sheet.

Our daughter is graduating from college this weekend and I get to sit with the group tonight and 6 hours on Sunday.  After years of emotional abuse it is taking all the energy I have to make myself go to this.  It is important to my daughter so this other stuff will have to wait until next week. 

Sigh...I just want this over so I can start to rebuild my life.  We will have been married more than 30 years when this is done and I have a  lot of coping behaviors to unlearn.

nowwhat

[patsy2099]

Has anyone had to deal with a premarital agreement?  How hard are they to do away with?