Sue and countersue question

[quiltingbee]

I added this onto the end of another thread but perhaps I should start it as a new thread.

We went to mediation and then my husband refused to file the mediation agreement.  Then he turned around and sued me for divorce.  He says he filed first that so I couldn't file using his adultery as grounds. 

I thought I could countersue for adultery if we get that far.  We're waiting for a hearing date on a motion to enforce the mediation agreement.

Thanks.

Betty

[m_t]

What will countersueing buy you? At the end of the day, you will be divorced. Do you really want to drag it out and spend more money? Or do you want to be done with it?

[quiltingbee]

Point well made.  I guess I just would want it known I had real grounds and he didn't.  But that would come out in testimony even if I didn't countersue, wouldn't it?

Divorce makes you crazy, especially when you've done nothing wrong and your spouse is telling his relatives your the bad guy.

[InDenial]

Can you find a lawyer who will give you a free initial consultation? A lawyer might be able to advise you as to whether there is an advantage to countersuing, and whether you could get a better deal by seeking a "fault" divorce as opposed to "no-fault".

[CollegeDad]

Yeah, depending on the skill of your attorney, you may be able to press the adultery issue to increase your chances of seeking alimony, more favorable property division, and possibly attorney's fees.  If you can convince the judge that he has misbehaved during the marriage you may be able to persuade his decisions on these matters more in your direction.  Also, if you can cause him to get on the witness stand and get caught lying about his affairs because of embarrassment about them, then you may have the judge even more on your side.  These would be about the only reasons that you may want to pursue the adultery issue. 

You will most likely not be able to prove adultery but, your husband will not know what you can or cannot prove about him.  So, he may be a little fearful about it and make some mistakes before a judge that will give you an advantage in your final divorce decree. 

As has already been stated, find an attorney that is very skillful in this area and see what they think about your case before you dismiss the whole adultery issue as nothing worth pursuing.  Generally what cancels out any claim of adultery is if you went ahead and continued to have sex with your husband after you found out about the affair.  In a judge's eyes, this is the same as forgiveness of adultery.  Also, a one night stand is not considered adultery in the state of Alabama believe it or not.