What does "support" here mean to you?

[pp13]

So... What do the members here want in terms of support from the other members?

As a someone posting on this board, when you post things that are going on in your case/life... what do you expect or hope for when you get replies back? Are you looking for guidance and advice or virtual 'hugs and love' from an understanding person?

As a poster who replies to threads... what do you try to add? Hugs and love, advice, an acknowledgement to the poster that you've felt the same way... that things will be alright?  Or the truth, no matter how it hurts?

What about when you do something stupid or wrong?  Do you want to be called out on it?  Do you want people here to stop you before you do something stupid or enjoy it when people egg you on?

((And I do mean for this to be a serious question and would love honest replies. In my humble opinion, if we can't be honest with eachother, then we're not helping ANYONE))



PS- this doesn't stem at all from anything on this board, but the dynamics are the same and I'm hoping to gleam some info from you guys.

[livealittle]

as someone posting I'm looking for a lot of things... here's a few

validation of my feelings/actions
support in facing adversity
comfort in facing difficulties/trying times/things
laughter and being able to see the humor in the situation
advice on how to handle something
alternative ways of looking at something/handling something
experience in how someone else handled a similiar situation

as someone responding I try to

offer comfort
offer advice based on my personal experience and knowledge of how my case was handled/how the laws were explained to me
offer a different viewpoint or what someone not involved may see in the situation
to validate someone else's feelings
offer support and encouragement

[H0$$]

I just say what's on my mind at the moment.

[Couttexca]

I like advice if someone has it, opinions when they opt to give it, and if someone thinks something is possibly flawed, I like to hear about it.  I like to think things through from all possible view points, sometimes there is a view on it that I hadn't considered before.  Frankly, I think too much at times.   

In a way, I guess you could say I've kinda been 'brainwashed' into thinking my own thoughts, feelings and actions are flawed.  So when I post some of the odd things I do, I am in a way trying to see whether I'm on the right track per se, or if I should be rethinking or expanding my thinking.  And of course virtual hugs/love always feels good. 

When posting to others, if I have an opinion on it, or a viewpoint I think may be useful, I share it.  If not, then I try to give sympathy/empathy when I can.  I feel like (at least for me) that even a pat on the back/virtual hug from a stranger, can give you the little motivation you need to get through one more day.

[chill]

well back in the day when pain was eating me away, a long time ago, I searched for answers. There was one person the one time I was having melt down, and wanted the answer that Hoss told what he was thinking......That helped me quite a bit.

Other times and one of the reasons I signed up for HEO years ago, was the dynamics on the board, it was a time were many would debate many things, say many things, without anyone having a hissy fit....it provided comic relief for me along with thought provoking topics.  I needed that to get away from my brain of suffering.

As a poster in reply to some, is to help however I can, based on past experience of BTDT.  Also not so much as to hand hold, but to guide the person to fight for a better life, and not give into looking at the why's.

[new chapter]

as someone posting I'm looking for a lot of things... here's a few

validation of my feelings/actions
support in facing adversity
comfort in facing difficulties/trying times/things
laughter and being able to see the humor in the situation
advice on how to handle something
alternative ways of looking at something/handling something
experience in how someone else handled a similiar situation

as someone responding I try to

offer comfort
offer advice based on my personal experience and knowledge of how my case was handled/how the laws were explained to me
offer a different viewpoint or what someone not involved may see in the situation
to validate someone else's feelings
offer support and encouragement

Agree Liv....would add....

As someone posting:

Straight talk when my perspective might be off kilter
A diversion from the crud
Just place to vent

As someone responding:

Just a listening ear sometimes

No matter what the post or the response unless it's down right offensive or out of line everyone has something to gain and something to contribute. That's the beauty of HEO multiple perspectives from a plethora of backgrounds. And you can openly debate, take it or leave it - that's your choice. I believe that HEO is more than the sum of the parts - so much richer for all it's members collective sharing. It's an organic process as we explore this thing called divorce (and let's face it life) together. We get to oppotunity it come into contact with people and their experiences that we would have likely never gotten the opportunity to experience IRL.

So like you get a woman in Canada, a guy in Minnesota, a gal in N. Cali, a fellow in Louisiana, etc...all discussing the merits of different types of underwear!  Now where are you gonna' find that? 

[livealittle]

you left out a gal in Alabama, a gal in Ohio, a gal in Jersey, and a few others.

[new chapter]

you left out a gal in Alabama, a gal in Ohio, a gal in Jersey, and a few others.

Hopefully you didn't expect me to go through entire thread and check every single person who responded but thanks for adding (that's what the etc. was for). Besides I don't know where every single member of HEO is from...I try to keep track but it's a lot of people! 

[JohnR]

I hope for neddik picutes.......of course that backfired on me a few times when ho$$ replied to some posts I wasn't expecting him to

 

[Wolfy]

As a poster I am looking for advice and hoping I did the right thing, but I have been called out on some of the stupid things I have done.

As a person replying I try to be honest but caring and tactful.

Of course, I am always hoping for nekkid pics but unlike John, I will specify that I want pictures of pretty gals.