My ex's STBX is trying to get her support before he pays my son's child support

[allemyne]

Confusing, I know . . .

I have a 12 year old son with my ex; when he left me, he moved in with someone, and married them 6 months later.  They have been separated a year, and her lawyer is trying to force him to pay support to her.

The last year they were together, I got no support payments; this past year, I've gotten three.  I know I could take him to court, have him thrown in jail, etc., but we are trying to be amicable for our son's sake and have worked very hard to reach a good point in our relationship . . .

They went to court today; didn't go before the judge, but the lawyer's talked it out and reached an "agreement" - he is to sell the truck he had planned to sell to pay me some of the back support, but she gets all the money.

Okay, maybe I'm ignorant, but doesn't a preexisting child support order come before her wants?  Is there some legal precedent I can use to support my claim?

[TC]

Okay, maybe I'm ignorant, but doesn't a preexisting child support order come before her wants?  Is there some legal precedent I can use to support my claim?

It will never take precedent unless you take action.  If you sit back and do nothing, expect nothing in return.

TC

[allemyne]

But what action to take?  I've taken him back to court - we "mediated" an agreement.  I have seen his pay records from the trucking company he is leased to.  He has paid what he can between trying to keep the truck running and his personal expenses.

They go back to court March 2nd (I think)  I think if it actually went before the judge, he would say child support comes first, but somehow he's never been asked to rule on it (they've been scheduled for court several times over the past year and either she delays it or the judge gets caught in a hearing and it gets delayed)

Throwing him in jail would only mean he makes no money and neither of us would get anything.  I can decide what to do once I know for sure that the preexisiting order takes precedence.  If it doesn't, as her lawyer keeps insisting, there's no reason to try.  And don't suggest his lawyer; he's a nice guy, but not a very forceful person.  Her lawyer, on the other hand, is very aggressive (and she and I really don't like each other due to a business dealing years ago!)

Bear in mind, we are talking a very small town where things happen that no one can really explain how (and the legal system isn't always honest)

[TC]

The problem is you have no public claim for CS.

You mediated an agreement btwn he and you.

Did you go to DHS/DHR for enforcemnt?

Was the mediated agreement put into a court order?

TC

[allemyne]

The courts ordered us into mediation; yes, there is a court order for my son's support - has been for 6 years.

I don't want to go to DHR; I'm in training as a social worker myself and know how backed up they are.   

His STBX is very difficult and has always put her wants before his children's (he has two others in their 20s that we had custody of in their teens)  She has stated to me several times she doesn't care what happens to us, she will get what she wants.   So maybe a large part of what I'm asking is to make sure of my rights before I proceed further.  Once I know that a child support order that has been in effect since before they got married (and was modified after they separated but before she asked for support) takes precedence, then I'll make my move.  If it doens;t, there's really no reason to waste my time and money in court.

[m_t]

Yes, your order takes precedence. But if you don't enforce it... no one will do so for you.

[allemyne]

Thank you - that was all I needed to know.