2009 Tax Filing - how to handle w/o lawyer while maintaining restraining order?

[Sofia325]

Hi,
I need help figuring out how to approach my STBX re: 2009 tax filing, keeping in mind that I have a permanent restraining order against him.  I'm wondering if there's any way I can do this without giving him permission to contact me (b/c of the order) and trying to save myself $350/hour in legal fees?

Since he didn't hire a divorce lawyer, I'd have to pay my lawyer to communicate with him. Can I enlist my mom's help to avoid legal fees on this? How can I get the documents from him? Should I ask him to drop them off at the police station?

Thanks
Sofia325

[TC]

Wouldn't it just be a lot easier for you to go the Married/Filing Separate route?

If that doesn't work, I don't know.  Doesn't seem right to drag your mother or anyone else into this if you fear him that much.  Seems to me it would be better to deal with him through your attorney.

TC

[Sofia325]

Thanks TC.  I'm just starting to get overwhelmed by the atty fees. I've already paid $6000 and we haven't even gotten to the asset distribution yet. This has mostly been for the DV representation stuff.

Do you know what happens with the mortgage interest and household expenses if we file married filing separately? Do we split those deductions?

[TC]

Sofia,

I understand the $....I quit counting at $10K and that was 15 years ago when I made about 40K per year. 

As for the interest and expenses and such...I honestly don't....best one I know to ask is Livilittle...she is pretty sharp on the IRS stuff.

TC

[m_t]

You have to be careful with retraining orders and third party contact. Really, you need to talk to your lawyer as you don't want to invalidate the RO.

[Sofia325]

Thanks MT. I didn't realize I could potentially invalidate the RO. I definitely don't want that to happen!

[Wolfy]

In MN if you call him you wont get in trouble but if he continues the conversation he runs the risk of being arrested. If he talks to a friend or a mutual relative and they call the cops and they develop probable cause, he will probably get arrested. You would stand a good chance of having the judge drop the restraining order.

[livealittle]

your best bet is to

see a CPA
have your divorce attorney request any papers/signatures from him
have him sign the forms at your attorney's office/CPA's office

unless you can file married filing seperate.

I'll have to do some reading to see what happens with the mortgage interest and other stuff like that.

do you have all the forms? 1098? contribution statements? etc.

[Sofia325]

Thanks Livelittle.  I will soon have all of the forms that are addressed to me or to both of us. His mail is being forwarded to him.

I will ask the lawyer about the CPA option.

[livealittle]

you should only be worried about using the mortgage interest if your Schedule A deductions are larger than the standard. For many people, the standard deductions are more than using Schedule A amounts.

do you two also have kids together?

You really should see a CPA as there isn't any way for someone like me to look at the little bit of information you've posted and help you with the big picture.   

Good luck.

[InDenial]

Interesting problem.  I read in publication 501 (Exemptions, Standard Deduction, and Filing Information http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p501.pdf) that when you file as "married filing separately"  you cannot take the standard deduction if your spouse itemizes. 

This implies to me that even if all income, credits and deductions are neatly separated, you may still need some information from your spouse about what they are doing on their return.