will, deed, and cleanup

[Grace48]

So, I have finally got back on my feet.  and headed to my attorney to make out a quit claim deed for my house to get the ex's name off. Also, I need to change my will. The ex is def. not my beneficiary anymore. lol So I have a few questions for those of you who have done this.

1. I have sole custody of our children, he only has some visitation, which he rarely takes. He has been very uninvolved. I am writing in my will that my sister, who has lived with me since he left, get custody of my children, and the ex maintain the same visitation. Now, I am no dummy. She will have to go to court IF he chose to fight that and win. I have seen several cases like this be granted, so I know there is a chance. However I have this written and filed so a lawyer can have my true wishes voiced in the event of my death. I am also keeping a log to further show involvement or lack thereof. Any other suggestions to be helpful?

2. Two houses were in the divorce. I got my home, the ex got the rental. Should I draw up both deeds with my attorney, or just let him worry about his own property and leave my name on it until he decides to take it off?

3. The divorce was final in May. I have had some medical expenses for the children, but unsure of how to proceed with getting the portion of out of pocket expenses he is responsible for. Should I pay all in full and and present a bill? What should I include, all paperwork or just an itemization or both? Does dental also get included? My original  lawyer told me to just ask him for it verbally. This is why I am going with another attorney. Our decree states both parties are responsible for half after the deductible, but no timelines or futher instructions.

Thanks for you help, as always.

[livealittle]

I can tell you what I do in regards to #3. In AL, the 1/2 medical reimbursement is to be sent through the Alabama Child Support Payment Center, P.O. Box 244015, Montgomery, Alabama 36124-4015 along with child support if you have registered with DHR. I have done so. My divorce decree says my x will reimburse me within 10 days of receiving a copy of the bill. I make copies for DHR, my x, my attorney and one for me to keep. I also keep up with all the expenses in an Excel workbook with a summary sheet and a seperate sheet for each month. I mail ccrr copies with the summary and itemized excel spreadsheets to him, file one for me, file one in the file I keep of all correspondence for my attorney for the next time he takes me back to court, and take one to DHR.

my x has never actually paid, but I try to send him a bill every month. Every time we go back to court I have all my records of what I've paid and what I've requested to be reimbursed for from him and he will have to show how much he paid of that. Otherwise, he's in contempt and the judge can order other relief for me, such as attorney's fees, and liens against his property.

If I were you, I'd start sending him copies of the bills with a total of what he owes you and keep a copy. Send them cccrr and then if he doesn't pay for a few months, file contempt.

a lot of people are afraid to stand up for what's right and don't want to make anyone mad, etc. for fear of a change in custody. Be realistic, what judge will entertain the idea of putting a child full time with the parent who refused to pay his half of the medical costs month after month?

[CollegeDad]

Item#3:  If he is not cooperating with you then I believe that you are going to have to do what LIV is talking about. 

Item#2:   I"m convinced that when he tries to take out a mortgage on this house and the mortgager finds out both of your names are on the deed he'll be stopped in his tracks.  Then he'll get motivated to remove your name from the deed if hasn't already.  Now if there is currently a mortgage against the property with both of your names on it, you need to get your name off that mortgage and deed ASAP.  Also, if he were to pass away before he removes your name from the deed then you'll be a rightful owner of half of that property.  Finally, as long as your name is on the property, you are liable along with him if anyone were to get injured on the property and sue for damages. 

If there is something in the divorce decree that specifically gives him that property then he can either have you sign a quit claim deed if you are agreeable or if you are not in agreement with that he could handle it directly with the judge.

I think the bottom line is you should really not have to do anything unless you are concerned about liability of ownership.   

[m_t]

Look into having a standby guardianship set up for your sister. That way, should something happen to you, she has the paperwork in hand to take the kids straight away.