Multiple questions: problems with ex

[MFMRLL]

Multiple questions, problems with ex

My ex and I have been divorced for a little over two years and share joint custody of our 15 year old daughter.  I pay her child support and have never been late.  I have never violated the terms of our divorce.  My ex has violated the terms of our divorce and also has deeper problems of her own due to her inability to make good choices.  Please review my concerns and offer your opinion.


Lawyer payment clause
Our divorce papers have a clause indicating that she is responsible for all of my legal costs if she violates the terms of our divorce.  She has done this (read below for details).

- Does this hold any weight in court or will the judge just ignore it?


Cohabitation and Renting out the house
Our divorce papers have the usual "no overnight guests unless related by blood or marriage" clause.  My daughter told me that my ex let her boyfriend live there for several months, but he moved out when they broke up.  Now she has rented/leased a spare room to some other guy, who also lets his best friend and their girlfriends sleep over with them frequently.  They are rowdy people who drink and smoke a lot.  In the house, all common spaces are shared and they have full access to my daughter, if they decide to commit a crime.

- What recourse do I have here?


House Utilities
Our divorce stipulated that she will buy out my interest in our house.  She did that and refinanced the property, but failed to get the utilities changed into her own name.  Apparently, she owes hundreds of dollars to several utilities from when she failed to pay them years before we met.  She knows that she will be responsible for repaying before the utilities will connect service.  I verbally gave her 60 days notice to get them transferred out of my name and she has told me she is in the process of transferring the utilities.

- What is my recourse here if she does not comply with my request?


Ex was fired for discrimination and sexual harrassment
This happened a month ago, and several other employees were also fired, but I only recent found out about it.  My ex admits this, but is paranoid, saying that she was a victim because her ex-boyfriend was out to get her.  The guy who used to live with her was also her subordinate employee.  A year ago, he left the company, but they broke up later.  I believe she is paranoid, trying to shift the blame elsewhere.  Being fired for not showing up at work is one thing, but being fired for these reasons is something completely different.  Because the company performed a thorough investigation, I doubt she has any grounds for a wrongful termination lawsuit.  I am not sure if the person(s) who were wronged or the state will file charges against her, but last time I checked, this behavior is a crime.

- If she is convicted of this as a crime, would she then become a sex offender?
- Regardless, could this impact child custody arrangements?  I view this from a moral viewpoint.
- Should I notify the district attorney?


Income Disclosure and Child Support
Prior to her firing, my ex made twice what I made.  She is now trying to increase the amount of child support I pay.  I see her firing as voluntary under-employment, because she was fired for her poor decisions.  She also received rental income and cashed out her entire retirement/investment account.  I pay almost $500 a month in child support and struggle to make ends meet with my remaining funds.  I am disabled veteran, receiving a small stipend monthly to offset my medical costs.

- Can she get my child support payments increased if she was fired?
- Do they base the payments on current income or income over the past 12 months? (i.e. proven income)
- Could the amount of money she gets from rent be considered income, when/if child support is re-calculated?
- Could the cashed out retirement funds also count as income, when/if child support is re-calculated?
- Could my veterans disability checks be considered income, when/if child support is re-calculated?  I believe Federal law exempts this from the calculation, which is different than other forms of disability, like SSDI.


Verbal abuse/harrassment
Our divorce papers say that we are not supposed to say bad things about the other parent, or allow others to do so, in our daughter's presence.  She has called me multiple times, bad mouthing me and calling me terms containing profanity.  Numerous times, when I pick up our daughter for visitation, she exhibits signs of anger, stress and anxiety towards me.  It takes a while for me to decompress our daughter.  Since the divorce, my daughter has been visiting a counselor.  In private conversations, the counselor has stated that her mother has obvious psychological and moral problems and that I am the only stable influence in my daughter's life.

- What recourse do I have here?


Thank you

[TC]

[
Lawyer payment clause
Our divorce papers have a clause indicating that she is responsible for all of my legal costs if she violates the terms of our divorce.  She has done this (read below for details).

- Does this hold any weight in court or will the judge just ignore it?

Unless it is very blatant disregard for court orders that you can readily prove with hard evidence, it is doubtful that the court will follow through on this.

Cohabitation and Renting out the house
Our divorce papers have the usual "no overnight guests unless related by blood or marriage" clause.  My daughter told me that my ex let her boyfriend live there for several months, but he moved out when they broke up.  Now she has rented/leased a spare room to some other guy, who also lets his best friend and their girlfriends sleep over with them frequently.  They are rowdy people who drink and smoke a lot.  In the house, all common spaces are shared and they have full access to my daughter, if they decide to commit a crime.

- What recourse do I have here?

None...you can't prove her boyfriend stayed there and you can't control who she has living in the house with her so long as it is not a cohabitation (sleeping together) type of scenario.  For this to be enforced you would need hard evidence, very solid evidence.  The only other possiblity is if you can demonstrate that the house guests/renters are putting your child in jeopardy and I'm not just talking about smoke inhalation either.

House Utilities
Our divorce stipulated that she will buy out my interest in our house.  She did that and refinanced the property, but failed to get the utilities changed into her own name.  Apparently, she owes hundreds of dollars to several utilities from when she failed to pay them years before we met.  She knows that she will be responsible for repaying before the utilities will connect service.  I verbally gave her 60 days notice to get them transferred out of my name and she has told me she is in the process of transferring the utilities.

- What is my recourse here if she does not comply with my request?

You can probably have the court order her to make these changes again...and if she fails to do so, go the contept route...but wouldn't it just be easier if you went and had your name taken off the utilities?  From the utilities standpoint, they will consider you liable until your name comes off, no matter what the court orders....just fyi.

Ex was fired for discrimination and sexual harrassment
This happened a month ago, and several other employees were also fired, but I only recent found out about it.  My ex admits this, but is paranoid, saying that she was a victim because her ex-boyfriend was out to get her.  The guy who used to live with her was also her subordinate employee.  A year ago, he left the company, but they broke up later.  I believe she is paranoid, trying to shift the blame elsewhere.  Being fired for not showing up at work is one thing, but being fired for these reasons is something completely different.  Because the company performed a thorough investigation, I doubt she has any grounds for a wrongful termination lawsuit.  I am not sure if the person(s) who were wronged or the state will file charges against her, but last time I checked, this behavior is a crime.

- If she is convicted of this as a crime, would she then become a sex offender?
- Regardless, could this impact child custody arrangements?  I view this from a moral viewpoint.
- Should I notify the district attorney?

Without knowing exactly what she did to get herself fired, there is no way to address these questions...more than likely she was fired for vioating company policy about dating subordinates...which I doubt would qualify for a sex offender status or help you in a custody battle. 

What would you want to contact the DA for?  If there was a "crime" committed, I would think that is the first thing the company she worked for did.  And if you were to contact the DA, I would hope you have some hard evidence that she did in fact commit a crime...which you have not listed here.

Income Disclosure and Child Support
Prior to her firing, my ex made twice what I made.  She is now trying to increase the amount of child support I pay.  I see her firing as voluntary under-employment, because she was fired for her poor decisions.  She also received rental income and cashed out her entire retirement/investment account.  I pay almost $500 a month in child support and struggle to make ends meet with my remaining funds.  I am disabled veteran, receiving a small stipend monthly to offset my medical costs.

- Can she get my child support payments increased if she was fired?
- Do they base the payments on current income or income over the past 12 months? (i.e. proven income)
- Could the amount of money she gets from rent be considered income, when/if child support is re-calculated?
- Could the cashed out retirement funds also count as income, when/if child support is re-calculated?
- Could my veterans disability checks be considered income, when/if child support is re-calculated?  I believe Federal law exempts this from the calculation, which is different than other forms of disability, like SSDI.

Income is normally calculated on the previous 24 - 36 months worth of income tax returns and primarily focused on the principle source of income. 

I think you are right about your disability income.

Verbal abuse/harrassment
Our divorce papers say that we are not supposed to say bad things about the other parent, or allow others to do so, in our daughter's presence.  She has called me multiple times, bad mouthing me and calling me terms containing profanity.  Numerous times, when I pick up our daughter for visitation, she exhibits signs of anger, stress and anxiety towards me.  It takes a while for me to decompress our daughter.  Since the divorce, my daughter has been visiting a counselor.  In private conversations, the counselor has stated that her mother has obvious psychological and moral problems and that I am the only stable influence in my daughter's life.

- What recourse do I have here?

What proof do you have?  Are you willing to put your daughter on the stand?

Point is, you are basically in a he said/she said scenario and courts hate these...they really have nothing concrete to go on.  Without hard proof, you really don't have a leg to stand on.

Based on everything you have posted here, if I were going to go back to court for anything, it would be to get court ordered counseling for my daughter....it sounds like she needs it.

Welcome to the board.

TC

[MFMRLL]

Thank you for the info.  I'm not familiar with how these things work, so I felt it would be good to ask.

Cohabitation and Renting out the house
Our divorce papers have the usual "no overnight guests unless related by blood or marriage" clause.  My daughter told me that my ex let her boyfriend live there for several months, but he moved out when they broke up.  Now she has rented/leased a spare room to some other guy, who also lets his best friend and their girlfriends sleep over with them frequently.  They are rowdy people who drink and smoke a lot.  In the house, all common spaces are shared and they have full access to my daughter, if they decide to commit a crime.

- What recourse do I have here?

None...you can't prove her boyfriend stayed there and you can't control who she has living in the house with her so long as it is not a cohabitation (sleeping together) type of scenario.  For this to be enforced you would need hard evidence, very solid evidence.  The only other possiblity is if you can demonstrate that the house guests/renters are putting your child in jeopardy and I'm not just talking about smoke inhalation either.

I know her ex-boyfriend and understand that he hates her guts.  I am pretty sure he would cooperate if I were to ask him to go on the stand or submit an affadavit saying he slept there.

Ex was fired for discrimination and sexual harrassment
This happened a month ago, and several other employees were also fired, but I only recent found out about it.  My ex admits this, but is paranoid, saying that she was a victim because her ex-boyfriend was out to get her.  The guy who used to live with her was also her subordinate employee.  A year ago, he left the company, but they broke up later.  I believe she is paranoid, trying to shift the blame elsewhere.  Being fired for not showing up at work is one thing, but being fired for these reasons is something completely different.  Because the company performed a thorough investigation, I doubt she has any grounds for a wrongful termination lawsuit.  I am not sure if the person(s) who were wronged or the state will file charges against her, but last time I checked, this behavior is a crime.

- If she is convicted of this as a crime, would she then become a sex offender?
- Regardless, could this impact child custody arrangements?  I view this from a moral viewpoint.
- Should I notify the district attorney?

Without knowing exactly what she did to get herself fired, there is no way to address these questions...more than likely she was fired for vioating company policy about dating subordinates...which I doubt would qualify for a sex offender status or help you in a custody battle.

What would you want to contact the DA for?  If there was a "crime" committed, I would think that is the first thing the company she worked for did.  And if you were to contact the DA, I would hope you have some hard evidence that she did in fact commit a crime...which you have not listed here.

From the grapevine, I hear that she failed to hire employees because of their sexual orientation, and then went on to brag about it in discussions with the other people.  I think the company was just cleaning out.

I am primarily curious if she could be taken to court and convicted for this and what it would mean regarding child custody and support.

Income Disclosure and Child Support
Prior to her firing, my ex made twice what I made.  She is now trying to increase the amount of child support I pay.  I see her firing as voluntary under-employment, because she was fired for her poor decisions.  She also received rental income and cashed out her entire retirement/investment account.  I pay almost $500 a month in child support and struggle to make ends meet with my remaining funds.  I am disabled veteran, receiving a small stipend monthly to offset my medical costs.

- Can she get my child support payments increased if she was fired?
- Do they base the payments on current income or income over the past 12 months? (i.e. proven income)
- Could the amount of money she gets from rent be considered income, when/if child support is re-calculated?
- Could the cashed out retirement funds also count as income, when/if child support is re-calculated?
- Could my veterans disability checks be considered income, when/if child support is re-calculated?  I believe Federal law exempts this from the calculation, which is different than other forms of disability, like SSDI.

Income is normally calculated on the previous 24 - 36 months worth of income tax returns and primarily focused on the principle source of income.

I think you are right about your disability income.

I called the county clerk's office.  They said that you can only request modification to child support payments every 36 months.  We have been divorced less than 24 months.  Does this sound right?  And, do you think she does not have a leg to stand on regarding having the child support payment amount modified at this time?

Verbal abuse/harrassment
Our divorce papers say that we are not supposed to say bad things about the other parent, or allow others to do so, in our daughter's presence.  She has called me multiple times, bad mouthing me and calling me terms containing profanity.  Numerous times, when I pick up our daughter for visitation, she exhibits signs of anger, stress and anxiety towards me.  It takes a while for me to decompress our daughter.  Since the divorce, my daughter has been visiting a counselor.  In private conversations, the counselor has stated that her mother has obvious psychological and moral problems and that I am the only stable influence in my daughter's life.

- What recourse do I have here?



What proof do you have?  Are you willing to put your daughter on the stand?

Point is, you are basically in a he said/she said scenario and courts hate these...they really have nothing concrete to go on.  Without hard proof, you really don't have a leg to stand on.

Based on everything you have posted here, if I were going to go back to court for anything, it would be to get court ordered counseling for my daughter....it sounds like she needs it.

Our divorce agreement stipulates that both my ex and myself are supposed to attend individual counseling, but our daughter must attend counseling too.  I went to counseling, but after several months, the doc said I had no problems and no longer needed counseling.  My ex went to counseling and told me that they started giving her ADD medication.  My ex told me that our daughter no longer needed counseling, but due to all the problems recently, I think she should return to counseling.  However, the papers say my ex has the final say regarding medical concerns involving our daughter.  Since psychologists do not prescribe medication, would this still count as a medical concern?


Also, why do people go through all the hassle of making sure the divorce tailored with conditions, which the judges then sign to make it legally binding, but then other judges just disregard?  It sounds like I paid a lot of money to my lawyer, to protect my daughter's well-being, for nothing.

[TC]

I know her ex-boyfriend and understand that he hates her guts.  I am pretty sure he would cooperate if I were to ask him to go on the stand or submit an affadavit saying he slept there.

I'm really not sure how the court would view this after the fact.  My guess is that it would result in a slap on the wrist at best...but maybe someone else here can shed some more light on this topic.

Ex was fired for discrimination and sexual harrassment

From the grapevine, I hear that she failed to hire employees because of their sexual orientation, and then went on to brag about it in discussions with the other people.  I think the company was just cleaning out.

I am primarily curious if she could be taken to court and convicted for this and what it would mean regarding child custody and support.

Personally, I don't see how any of this information would help your case...it has nothing to do with your daughter at all and is definately not a criminal issue the DA would entertain.

[/quote]

Income Disclosure and Child Support
I called the county clerk's office.  They said that you can only request modification to child support payments every 36 months.  We have been divorced less than 24 months.  Does this sound right?  And, do you think she does not have a leg to stand on regarding having the child support payment amount modified at this time?

It is standard to have the CS reviewed every 36 months UNLESS there is a significant change in circumstances....she can claim extenuating circumstances in that she is now unemployed.  I still believe the court will hold her accountable for the income earning potential she demonstrated previously, at least for the forseeable future.  Should she try to get this modified, be prepared to inform the court that she was fired and that she also has residual income.  Emphasize her "earning potential" based on the last three years worth of tax returns....I think you should be ok...but no guarantees.

Verbal abuse/harrassment


Our divorce agreement stipulates that both my ex and myself are supposed to attend individual counseling, but our daughter must attend counseling too.  I went to counseling, but after several months, the doc said I had no problems and no longer needed counseling.  My ex went to counseling and told me that they started giving her ADD medication.  My ex told me that our daughter no longer needed counseling, but due to all the problems recently, I think she should return to counseling.  However, the papers say my ex has the final say regarding medical concerns involving our daughter.  Since psychologists do not prescribe medication, would this still count as a medical concern?


Also, why do people go through all the hassle of making sure the divorce tailored with conditions, which the judges then sign to make it legally binding, but then other judges just disregard?  It sounds like I paid a lot of money to my lawyer, to protect my daughter's well-being, for nothing.

You ask very valid questions:  I can only give you my belief based on my own personal experience.  I believe the courts put these statements in the orders believing that "MOST" people will simply abide by them as good honest human beings...and in the big scheme of things, this is probably true.  Unfortunately, when one part does not comply, the truth of the matter is that the courts have issued orders that are extremely hard to enforce and frankly, not worth the court's time.

Your only recourse based on my own experience is to hire a really good attorney, spend a hell of a lot of money, and take her back to court for contempt...at which point the court will give her multiple chances to comply, lightly smacking her on the wrist at each infraction until you both get tired of playing this game and you either run out of money or simply give up.

Not a pretty picture, but unless you can demonstrate your daughter is in serious danger, I really doubt you are going to make much headway.

Again, I am responding based on my own experience.  I am not an attorney...so see what others have to say.  MT, Livalittle and Collegedad are quite well informed here in addtion to Lee obviously.

TC

[InDenial]

You can probably have the court order her to make these changes again...and if she fails to do so, go the contept route...but wouldn't it just be easier if you went and had your name taken off the utilities?  From the utilities standpoint, they will consider you liable until your name comes off, no matter what the court orders....just fyi.

I will add my own experiences here about attempting to get my STBX's name off my utilities after he moved out:

1) some of them insisted on getting HIS permission -- in writing!
2) several of them wanted to charge me a fee

I agree with TC that you should contact the utilities yourself and find out what is involved. They may require you to sign something.  If there is a fee, you might offer to pay it yourself or split it with your Ex. Or you can try my approach of complaining and asking for a supervisor.

[MFMRLL]

Thank you for the advice.  I have an appointment with my lawyer.  I want to be prepared, just in case...  I also am going to contact the utilities and see if the accounts have been closed/transferred.

Thanks

[m_t]

I know her ex-boyfriend and understand that he hates her guts.  I am pretty sure he would cooperate if I were to ask him to go on the stand or submit an affadavit saying he slept there.

I'm really not sure how the court would view this after the fact.  My guess is that it would result in a slap on the wrist at best...but maybe someone else here can shed some more light on this topic.

It is unlikely that her former b/f would be considered a credible witness - he's got an axe to grind. Additionally, he's now moved out, so that situation is resolved. If it had been an issue wrt your daughter, you would/should have known when it was happening and acted then. You didn't, so it's pretty much a moot point now.

Ex was fired for discrimination and sexual harrassment

From the grapevine, I hear that she failed to hire employees because of their sexual orientation, and then went on to brag about it in discussions with the other people.  I think the company was just cleaning out.

I am primarily curious if she could be taken to court and convicted for this and what it would mean regarding child custody and support.

Personally, I don't see how any of this information would help your case...it has nothing to do with your daughter at all and is definately not a criminal issue the DA would entertain.

Uuuh, yeah. Dating a subordinate would hardly raise her to "sexual offender" status. Unless said subordinate was a minor and her actions constituted statutory ****. So that's a nonstarter.

As for her discrimination firing? It is reasonable to assume that the company would have taken further actions if her behavior actually constituted something illegal. If it did not, then likely it is as TC stated - she violated company policy. And while it may seem reprehensible and/or morally wrong, it is not intrinsically illegal to dislike people based on sexual orientation, gender, races, etc. White Supremacists and Black Panthers are allowed to raise their children and teach them their beliefs. As is your ex - your counter to that is in teaching your daughter your own moral beliefs and values. A judge does not have the right to order either of you to do otherwise.

Further, you apparently have no proof regarding the circumstances regarding her unemployment. Rumors, etc. will not get you far in court.

Income Disclosure and Child Support
I called the county clerk's office.  They said that you can only request modification to child support payments every 36 months.  We have been divorced less than 24 months.  Does this sound right?  And, do you think she does not have a leg to stand on regarding having the child support payment amount modified at this time?

It is standard to have the CS reviewed every 36 months UNLESS there is a significant change in circumstances....she can claim extenuating circumstances in that she is now unemployed.  I still believe the court will hold her accountable for the income earning potential she demonstrated previously, at least for the forseeable future.  Should she try to get this modified, be prepared to inform the court that she was fired and that she also has residual income.  Emphasize her "earning potential" based on the last three years worth of tax returns....I think you should be ok...but no guarantees.

She can file for a modification, but it's unlikely she'll get an increase based on a for-cause loss of income. However... if the company has recorded it as a lay-off, rather than a for-cause firing, the story may be different. And again - you apparently have no proof to the contrary.

Also, rental income is considered income. Cashing out her retirement fund? That may not be (for CS purposes) as it's a limited source of funds. Your disability is something I'm not well-versed on.

Verbal abuse/harrassment


Our divorce agreement stipulates that both my ex and myself are supposed to attend individual counseling, but our daughter must attend counseling too.  I went to counseling, but after several months, the doc said I had no problems and no longer needed counseling.  My ex went to counseling and told me that they started giving her ADD medication.  My ex told me that our daughter no longer needed counseling, but due to all the problems recently, I think she should return to counseling.  However, the papers say my ex has the final say regarding medical concerns involving our daughter.  Since psychologists do not prescribe medication, would this still count as a medical concern?

Yes, it would still count.

Also, why do people go through all the hassle of making sure the divorce tailored with conditions, which the judges then sign to make it legally binding, but then other judges just disregard?  It sounds like I paid a lot of money to my lawyer, to protect my daughter's well-being, for nothing.

You ask very valid questions:  I can only give you my belief based on my own personal experience.  I believe the courts put these statements in the orders believing that "MOST" people will simply abide by them as good honest human beings...and in the big scheme of things, this is probably true.  Unfortunately, when one part does not comply, the truth of the matter is that the courts have issued orders that are extremely hard to enforce and frankly, not worth the court's time.

Your only recourse based on my own experience is to hire a really good attorney, spend a hell of a lot of money, and take her back to court for contempt...at which point the court will give her multiple chances to comply, lightly smacking her on the wrist at each infraction until you both get tired of playing this game and you either run out of money or simply give up.

Not a pretty picture, but unless you can demonstrate your daughter is in serious danger, I really doubt you are going to make much headway.

Again, I am responding based on my own experience.  I am not an attorney...so see what others have to say.  MT, Livalittle and Collegedad are quite well informed here in addtion to Lee obviously.

TC

Here is the thing... it IS legally binding. BUT... you have to prove what you're alleging. So far, there's little that you have proof of. You heard through the grapevine, your daughter said XYZ, her ex-b/f claims and so on and so forth. A judge is NOT going to penalize her simply on your say-so. You need solid proof. Employment/termination records, proof of residence from the b/f and/or subsequent "tenants" (i.e. bills coming to the house in their names, change of address on driver's license, etc.), etc. Additionally, this is something you need to be cautious of - have you EVER allowed your daughter to have a friend sleep over at your home? That's an overnight guest not related by blood or marriage. Have you ever been aware of your daughter having a friend sleep over at the ex's home (and it would be unusual if she hadn't)? If so - you should have objected and held up that clause at the time. Is it an extreme interpretation? Sure. But... the way your clause is written, it is ANY overnight guest unrelated by blood or marriage - if you let one slide, then you have little argument for others. Great idea in theory, a bitch to actually enforce.

ETA - man, those quotes were a bitch to fix! :p

[livealittle]

  Quote from m_t above post

Additionally, this is something you need to be cautious of - have you EVER allowed your daughter to have a friend sleep over at your home? That's an overnight guest not related by blood or marriage. Have you ever been aware of your daughter having a friend sleep over at the ex's home (and it would be unusual if she hadn't)? If so - you should have objected and held up that clause at the time. Is it an extreme interpretation? Sure. But... the way your clause is written, it is ANY overnight guest unrelated by blood or marriage - if you let one slide, then you have little argument for others. Great idea in theory, a bitch to actually enforce.

i don't have my divorce decree in front of me, but my clause reads more specifically as an overnight guest of the parent who is the opposite sex and that the parent is romantically involved with. I don't remember the exact wording, but it's pretty clear it means a boyfriend of the mom and/or a girlfriend of the dad

it certainly would be a very big stretch to say it applied to the kids' friends or slumber parties for the kids etc.

[MFMRLL]

I agree.  My daughter often has her friends and schoolmates (female only, of course) spend the night.  This happens at both my house and her mother's house.

if this does get to court, my attorney should be able to subpoena the details of her termination, if it becomes necessary.  If she does not want to divulge her rental income, then that should be easy to subpoena also.

[m_t]

W/o knowing what OP's decree states *specifically*, I'm going to go with what he said it states. Again - he still has to prove that it's going on. The b/f who's moved out will be moot. And a good lawyer can argue even the seemingly biggest stretch into a plausible interpretation. However, if it is more like your decree, liv, then the other folks (who are NOT romantically involved) are not prohibited from staying overnight.

And sure, OP... your lawyer could subpoena all sorts of documents. But how do you plan to pay for it, when you say that you're struggling to make ends meet? S/he isn't going to do it out of the kindness of his/her heart. Nor can you count on the court ordering her to pay your legal fees - she'd have to be found in contempt of the order first. And then it may only be a portion of your fees she'll be responsible for (i.e. if she is found in contempt one only one of four points you bring to court, she may only be ordered to pay for a quarter of the fees - those for the portion of the order she violated. It really isn't as black and white as you may think.

[TC]

My ex was found in contempt more than once...and the court never entertained awarding court costs.....

It's not black and white at all.

TC