finally progress

[NoLongerLost]

this court case has been ongoing for a year now, with a court date of February. There have been two hearings, but no resolution.

but thank goodness, I think my husband finally got an attorney who is diligent and actually cares. Discovery was requested in July with still no progress. My stepdaughter was conveniently out of town 5-6 times after we drove to AL to get her for visits, even a week at Christmas. My husband complained to his attorney, and this is what he got back via email:

"We are working on a contempt motion and motion for sanctions to be filed this week."

Contempt is over the visitation, but what sanctions can be filed for failing to produce the Discovery? he seemed to indicate that this would go against her attorney for failing to make her comply. Has this happened to anyone here?

He is so glad that FINALLY someone is making her be cooperative or suffer the consequences. Apparently she got a letter yesterday about the Christmas visitation, and she had my step-daughter text my husband and ask why he was doing this to "them" and "us." He called his ex and come to find out the child reads all of the mail, including legal papers, before mom ever comes home.

I hope she is finally made to answer for all she has done to my husband, and the money she has cost him, in the past 5 years. Hurray for a great attorney!!!

[TC]

I hate to burst your bubble, but even with an aggressive attorney, I wouldn't hold out too much hope that this will be resolved the way you imagine.

The contempt hearings, yes, I meant for that to be plural, will drag out for several months and then even if she is found in contempt my experience shows that she will receive a slap on the wrist and be told to not let it happen again.  As for sanctions...doubtful that these were in reference to her attorney unless there was gross disregard on the attorney's part toward the court, which is quite doubtful.  As for the court levying sanctions against his ex...I'd be willing to bet that the best you might see is that she is ordered to pay for transportaion costs for the next visit to your location.

Hopefully your experience turns out different than mine....but based on my own experience (in a diff state) I wouldn't get my hopes up too high.

TC

[NoLongerLost]

This is added to her other contempt charges which began over a year ago. This is a persistent problem. She has refused visitation, changed phone numbers, moved, cancelled health insurance my husband is paying for, filed a false order of protection, lied to the IRS (they sanctioned her themselves), and lied about her income.

Anything, even a nasty letter to her, is more than anything that has ever been done. This is a small town and all of the attorneys and judges know one another. My husband's attorney indicated that he knew which "buttons" upset the judge, and apparently visitation is one of them.

It seems like most reponses here are negative, could I get a positivie one? Surely not EVERYONE'S experiences have been negative. Give me some hope for my husband here after the turnmoil he has been through.

[TC]

I gave you an honest opinion...sorry if you think everything here is negative.....

TC

[livealittle]

well, if you've read all my posts, you will also find a relatively negative trend. My x never produced any discovery either, after filing motions against me! His attorney removed herself from the case 2 days before the court date. When no one showed up for him and the judge flipped through the first few papers in his copy of the file, he saw the envelope where my x had refused delivery of the court papers by registered mail and that seemed to tick him off. He ordered a default judgment of contempt on my counterclaim against my x.

BUT - trying to collect anything from my x, trying to actually enforce anything that has ever been ordered has just never happened. My x has never "been held accountable" for his failure to comply with the most basic instructions and court orders like "produce his current address" much less actually pay any of the court ordered child support.


in a perfect world, your husband would get to see his daughter, his x would be held in contempt for all the failures to comply with the court orders, but in reality, it just doesn't happen much. I'm sorry there isn't much good news in these situations.

kudos to your husband for staying the course. One day, hopefully, his daughter will realize how much her dad loves her and how much he went through to be able to see her and stay in touch with her.

[silly dreamer]

My x went thru several attorneys during our process. They drug their feet on discovery for MONTHS, then when they sent us discovery, called my atty in 3 days wanting to know where it was and threatening to file sanctions against him for not complying. I'm not sure if they can/do do that, but my atty seemed ticked about it and wanted it taken care of. I was able to get it done that afternoon and turned in. Then when X finally did turn his in, his answers were mostly "I don't know" or "Not able to produce at this time" or other vagueness. It was frustrating...

I don't have any experience with contempt other than my own personal knowledge that my x hasn't done anything that was ordered except exercise his visitation. Again,... frustrating.

Good luck to you.... sorry I didn't have any great news either. Just understand your frustration with the gap between the way things "should" work and the way things "actually" work.

[Free_at_Last]

It seems like most reponses here are negative, could I get a positivie one? Surely not EVERYONE'S experiences have been negative. Give me some hope for my husband here after the turnmoil he has been through.

You're probably right... the way I look at it is that people who have had "easy" divorces or positive experiences probably aren't on a divorce info/help board.

[m_t]

I'm curious how Mom is supposed to stop the child from reading the mail/legal papers if she does so when they come in the mail and when Mom's not home....

[NoLongerLost]

At one point she was sending the daughter out there to see if the "checks" for child support were in the mail. She was telling her, "see, I told you your daddy isn't paying." He pays directly to the alabama child support disbursement center and she uses a debit card to access it. She was attempting to brainwash his daughter against him. She asked why he wasn't paying and he pulled it up on the internet and printed out the payment history for her.

Now she tells her to "go check the mail" to see what your daddy is going to "us." Then the child is encouraged to either call my husband and complain or send nasty text messages and emails.

It's a sad, sad thing to turn a child against a parent.

PS - how many times would your child open your private mail? It would only happen once at my house without permission. The mother has ZERO control because they are "friends."

[m_t]

And how can Dad prove any of this? In court, that is.

As for how often one of mine opens my mail? LOL If it's "To The Parent/Guardian of "m_t cubbie""? More than not. It's usually something from school - notice, report card, etc. Given that I usually know what it says anyway, that's no big deal to me. Plus, they always give it to me, anyway. They don't open my other mail, anymore than I open theirs.

However, the problem is - Dad has to PROVE that Mom's not doing anything. And that's not so easy to do.

[NoLongerLost]

Well, my husband received a copy electronically of the motion for sanctions filed against his ex. Apparently the court, which we did not know, has already requested three times since October for her to submit her interrogatories/discovery and she has blatantly refused.

She was given 30 days on December 9, 2010 so she actually was given a few extra days because of the holidays, etc. This was for the 3rd request.

Hopefully this will spur her into action. After three requests, surely the court won't give her an additional 30 days with the court date being less than 30 days from now. She has attempted to postpone this for almost a year. I guess courts get tired of the runaround, too.

We're crossing our fingers. By the way, what is an "amended couter petition"? Surely she doesn't get MORE time having had 3 chances from the court and the court date less than 30 days away. Anyone know?

[TC]

I would assume that an "ammended court patition" was a court petition filed by one of the parties that was later ammended due to error or ommision....but without further data, it is hard to tell.

As for the court giving her another 30 days....wouldn't surprise me at all.

Are you sure the court petitioned her three times already?  It is very unusual for a court to petition one party in a case without informing the other party of the action....very unusual.

TC

[NoLongerLost]

apparently the first request was actually from his attorney. There was then a meeting trying to mediate instead of going to trial and the judge told her to submit her discovery questions within a certain amount of time. Then there was a second meeting and she still had not submitted discovery requests. Then his attorney filed a motion and sent a copy to her attorney asking for discovery within 20 days, which was about a month ago. She has failed to respond to all of these. The court date is in less than 30 days, and she has already been given multiple opportunities.

my husband told his attorney from the beginning that she would not cooperate. When she got the last letter, 2 weeks ago, is when she had my step-daughter contact her dad about the discovery, being "childish", etc. She won't comply. She has never been held accountable all the times they've been to court, and she is under the assumption she doesn't have to this time.

My husband's last attorney never pushed the issue, receiving discovery the day of court. At least his current attorney has stressed repeatedly to the court that his driving all the way to Alabama constantly to have meetings, etc. postponed after two meetings already is unfair since she is the one not complying.

My husband submitted his discovery the same day. We keep everything on computer so it was easy. He has nothing to hide, but she told him on the phone last week that her business was "none of his business." Some people learn everything the hard way. I wll be glad when our lives are back to normal without the turmoil. Enough is enough, but sometimes it is the principle of the thing, and my husband wants his daughter to know, especially when she's older, that he did everything possible to see her, help her, and provide the best for her.

Cross our fingers.

[TC]

Unless it is a matter of the court record, it didn't happen. 

What I mean by that is this:  No matter what any attorney requested at a meeting, or what a Judge might have said at a meeting...unless it is part of the court record in the form of an order or legal filing, it didn't happen. 

I'm betting she gets a continuance.  Hopefully I am wrong, but I doubt it.

TC

[NoLongerLost]

The motions were filed so they ARE a part of court record. Again with the voice of hope and optimism. I know everyone here wants to help, but it can really be discouraging for those with a positive outlook, like us. I know you are going to say "realistically," but you know sometimes attitude can affect a lot of outcomes. I tend to be a lot more optimistic.