Help, I am so lost, and new to this

[teddybear]

. . . your screen name is indeed curious, hischild.  You are all of your dreams and expectations and I think you need to fill your spirit with God's words.  Life happens . . . what are you going to do?  Stand up and let the world know that you are here and claim your space boldly.  Listen to our stories, share with us yours, learn what you must in order to make the rest of your journey a healthy one physically, emotionally and spiritually.  HEO is here for your . . . somethings will resonate, rile, humor you and also make you think hmmm!  What is meant for you to 'get' you will if you keep yourself open, I hope you do.

[tolerati]

It's true. You are not alone here... so join us as we journey to find a better life...a life we deserve.

[hischild]

Thank you sluggo, I almost felt like you were here sitting in a chair beside me, as far as the screen name goes.. want I am stating is that I am God's Child (hischild), I am sorry if I got you concerned over the meaning, thank you for that concern...  I have found that coming in here is helping, reading others pain, and bumps in the road.  But how do you IM someone for a one on one , kinda like a chat I guess....  is that possible?

[enough is enough]

if you click on the persons name you will see at the bottom send this person a personal message. Then it will be private between the two of you.

[enough is enough]

Sluggo you are so right. I have really been struggling with the distance part. It has been a month since I truly have cut the ties. I let him in many many times. Only to be hurt over and over. It was like picking a scab off just to start bleeding again.

Although I am still lonley, I dont spend my whole day crying and I am starting to live alittle. Whenever I would talk to him I would let him beat me down and my day would be ruined. At least now he cant destroy my day because I wont let him.

Hischild this is going to take time, it wont happen over night. Surviving each day is a blessing in itself.

[slugbait]

as far as the screen name goes.. want I am stating is that I am God's Child (hischild), I am sorry if I got you concerned over the meaning, thank you for that concern

I wasn't concerned, I was hopeing it meant just what you said.  You're the second person today to ask about how to "chat".  There really isn't a "chat" function here, but PM's work for that, like EIE said.  They automatically are saved, too, so you can go back and sort through them by name and date, etc.  Give it a whirl !  It's a nice way to send a quick note, or a novel, to one or several people in a more private way.

[slugbait]

Sluggo you are so right. I have really been struggling with the distance part. It has been a month since I truly have cut the ties. I let him in many many times. Only to be hurt over and over. It was like picking a scab off just to start bleeding again.

Although I am still lonley, I dont spend my whole day crying and I am starting to live alittle. Whenever I would talk to him I would let him beat me down and my day would be ruined. At least now he cant destroy my day because I wont let him.

Hischild this is going to take time, it wont happen over night. Surviving each day is a blessing in itself.

You know, I have always been confused why we cling so hard to the one who is hurting us the most.....haven't quite figured that one out yet, but I have figured out that sustained distance is the only way you will begin to heal.  I have also figured out that it gets easier as time goes by, but the time that follows making that comittment is the hardest of all. All of your instinct is to be with that person, to will them to care, somehow...even though your logical mind tells you they won't.  I think it takes a lot of blind faith to just let go of that fantasy, and trust to the future.  This is something I posted a while ago for TTR, its as good an analogy as I have seen with my eyes:

TTR,
One of the stations on the ropes course I built was called the "heebie jeebies". You had to walk out onto a cable stretched between trees, 40' in the air.  The only thing you had to hold onto was a rope that started out at your shoulder but kept getting lower until it connected with the cable in the middle, where a new rope started and got higher as you moved past the middle.  In the center, you had to let go of the rope behind you in order to grab the new rope (past and future)...that wobbly, uncertain and scary place in the middle was called....the "heebie jeebies". 
Welcome to the heebie jeebies, my friend.  I know how hard it is to let the past go, I am there too, it's scary and painfull, and letting go of that rope behind you seems like the hardest thing you could think of and defies all that you feel right now...but you have to trust that there is a future, a safe and warm place to land, just ahead of you.  That next rope will take you there, but only if you have the courage to let go of the past. There are a hundred people, standing in the trees, and on the ground, shouting encouragement to you, they KNOW you can do this.  I know you can do this.  Have faith in who you are, in who you want to be...and in the future that God has laid out for you.    Get yourself to that safe, warm place... and the healing will happen, I promise.

Wish I could find a picture of it.......hopefully, you get the idea.

[christineseip]

Don't waste too much time trying to apply logic to what he says. It'll drive you crazy.

i'm with ho$$ on this one.

[m_t]

You're the second person today to ask about how to "chat".  There really isn't a "chat" function here, but PM's work for that, like EIE said.  They automatically are saved, too, so you can go back and sort through them by name and date, etc.  Give it a whirl !  It's a nice way to send a quick note, or a novel, to one or several people in a more private way.

Just to clarify... only incoming PMs are saved automatically - you need to check an option box for outgoing PMs to be saved. But for anyone wondering, the mailbox for messages is quite large. You shouldn't have to worry about running out of room.