I just found my old journals

[odyssey]

Holy moley - one of the notebooks I wrote in went back to 1998 -

It made me sad a little to reread my troubles form those dark days and weepy nights - I would implore him to hear me. I wrote about what happened that day and how he made it so much worse. I wrote about how miserable I felt. I wrote about how hard it was for the kids, the dog, the neighbors, even his mom and brother were miffed at how he was acting toward me. I wrote what the counselor talked to me and to us about - the exercises, the advice. So many of the pages were tear smudged. What a painful decade.

And then I realized - that's all past history. That sad woman isn't sad now. The angry man who was my husband is not living here any more. I rarely think about him, and that right there is a GIFT - I just wanna say, "I'm so glad it didn't work out the way I wanted it to. It's better."

I don't have to write about such heartbreaking stuff in those journals very often any more. Now my journaling is more like a scribble on a calendar square. and my calendar squares are all full.

I don't think I will throw those journals away just yet - I may need to reread them again in a few years.

[chill]

I threw all mine away.  I read them one last time, and said goodbye to that life.

and I am happier too, so it all worked out the way it was suppose to.  But not the way I wished at the time. lol

[H0$$]

Most of my "journals" were on books of matches....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR0saeFNhyU

[christineseip]

two thumbs up, odyssey 

[GA_Mike]

I remember years ago, when I stumbled upon my 'divorce' journal after not having written on it in ages. I could hardly recognize the person whose pain filled those pages. It's amazing how time eventually heals everything. I realized at that point that I had no more use for it. One fine, cool Fall evening (not unlike this one), I poured myself a glass of my favorite Single Malt Scotch, placed the journal on the grill and watched quietly as it burned. I knew I would never need to write on it again, or want to read what was in it. It was time to permanently close that chapter of my life, and I couldn't think of a better way to do it.

[teddybear]

I remember years ago, when I stumbled upon my 'divorce' journal after not having written on it in ages. I could hardly recognize the person whose pain filled those pages. It's amazing how time eventually heals everything. I realized at that point that I had no more use for it. One fine, cool Fall evening (not unlike this one), I poured myself a glass of my favorite Single Malt Scotch, placed the journal on the grill and watched quietly as it burned. I knew I would never need to write on it again, or want to read what was in it. It was time to permanently close that chapter of my life, and I couldn't think of a better way to do it.

Absolutely and thank you for your comments.

[JAM]

You really should throw them away. If you've truly moved on than they mean nothing and are just taking up space in your home when they could be recycled into sonething useful.

[odyssey]

You're all absolutely right - I should get rid of them. Why would I need to reread them in a few years?

I am moving forward in more ways than I ever imagined I could...

I think I will hold a ceremonial burning - that sounds like an occasion for a party. Something I am particularly amazing at too, I just love to throw parties.

[BamaJan]

I can't imagine you being that person, odyssey. You're one of the happiest people I know, and your friendship has been such a blessing to me. I wish everyone here could meet you. Your strength is amazing, and you have helped me move forward in my own life on my own.

I wish I'd kept a journal. I do have some things that I wrote early on... mostly details about what was happening at the time. It's on my computer at work. I ran across some of the things I'd written not long ago. It seems like that was a different lifetime. I read through details of his cheating, the hours of phone conversation between him and the OW, the things he said to me and to our children. You know, at the time I felt like my life was over. But it was just beginning. I've made a couple of mistakes along the way, and I'm still learning... but I'm so thankful to God that I'm no longer in that situation and that I have the opportunity for a new life.

You're an inspiration, odyssey. I want to be you when I grow up.   

[Phoenix]

Was just thinkin' the same reading her other posts.  Very cool.