Finances...

[Ashanne]

go down the toilet with divorce. Suddenly most are faced with losing half or more of their income. Plus child support not always fairly set. For me I had a husband paid half his salary in cash so no paper trail to collect on that amount. Unless you were married to Donald Trump or have a very successful career you too will suffer financially with divorce. 

[LTL]

i know a fellow that was divorced while out of work, due no fault of his own - just downsizing - his attorney had it set up to where they were taking the CS out of his unemployment( which the unemployment later told him was againast the law)

anyhow - to say the least his funds were limited - he use microsoft money, but any money management tool would work and set his budget - hard, hell yea - but he was able to get by - watching every penney, making wise choices, allowing himself to splurge now and again - but the management tool saved his but

I know of several others that tried to continue to live the lifestyle they did while married and they are now nearly homeless and asking shelter type places for help with things such as household goods and food, it is really sad to watch, sad that anyone has to go through it -

having this header here is a good reminder to us all what we need to do to keep ourselves srtaight

[ms mc't]

On the flip side of that, I look forward to being totally in control of my finances and not being dependent on someone who has no real concept of money, or where it comes from, and having to fight to make ends meet when we both make a decent income.

I realize it will be difficult to live off just my paycheck, but we were able to squeak by when he was out of a job for almost 3 months. I know that it can be done.

[LTL]

I hear that - I know I am so much better off - my ex always lived way beyond our means - hell I have had money since the day he left.  He on the other hand is still living beyond his means.

[ms mc't]

I have been trying to get him to work with me on a budget for about 4 years now. When he would stick to it, it worked really well. We were able to buy a house and easily make the house payments. It took some effort, but now he really does not give a damn and wants what he wants. So, we are over our heads now and he still feels that he should be able to spend like he wants too.

But since he left, he is having to learn that running a household and paying the bills is not as fun as he thought. If I didn't know him better, I almost think he would up and quit his job and run away to go be with someone who will take care of it again for him. But I know if he did that, he would seriously be deadmeat.

[Lee Borden]

I can't say that you're right and your spouse is wrong, but I can tell you that I'm more like you. As I age, I find myself being far more interested in simplicity than in having fun toys. So I can resonate with your desire to keep everything manageable and your relief that you are heading in that direction. Good for you.

[m_t]

Funnily enough, although I make significantly less than we did as a couple, our life is better. We don't have a lot of material things - I've got one car pretty well up on blocks and drive my folks' old beater 'cause it's cheaper to run, our furniture is a hodge-podge of stuff (NOTHING matches), we don't spend a lot on fancy toys, etc. But we have a calm and peaceful life with enough to get by on. We may not be wealthy or have a lot of expensive stuff, but the cubs and I are rich beyond anything I could have ever dreamed of with my ex. Because what we have is a genuine love and regard for one another that money can't buy. My divorce is the best thing that could have ever happened to me - without it I'd either be long commited to an asylum or six feet under.