health insur.

[sport22]

In my husband's decree it states he will provide Cobra Ins. for 36 months or until the ex CAN acquire insurance through her employer. She had one job as a teacher's aid at the time of the decree and had insurance available to her. She quit that job due to personality differences and took another teacher's aid job (she has a master's degree in Education) in August where she could have gotten her own insurance as well. Now she resigned (was asked to by school) from that job this month so now we are wondering about the insurance. If she can't keep a job, are we responsible for picking up insurance everytime she is fired or resigns? It is past the point of getting Cobra so we are unsure of his responsibilities. Thanks!

[Lee Borden]

I don't have an easy answer for you. Clearly, your husband could decide to continue providing the insurance for the full 36 months, and he may be requred to provide it. The alternative (cutting off the insurance) might be somewhat distasteful, bacause it would leave your husband's ex-wife uninsured. This may not bother you at all but might be quite worriisome to him.

[anniewalker]

I think the use of the word "can" in this instance is making things more messy then they should be.  I think you have another post that deals with vague language.  Your husband's attorney should insist upon clearer language going forward.

She may have a number of reasons why she "can't" get coverage.  She can't afford it.  She can't use her preferred doctor.  She can't stand her job.  She can't get her enrollment papers in on time. Etc. Etc. Etc.  I beleive that the preferred language would be something like "until the ex becomes eligible for insurance through her employer".  And even THAT isn't good language. If she gets married tomorrow she may be eligible for insurance through her new spouse.  So maybe "...through her employer, remarriage, or any of the events recognized by insurance providers as a qualifying event".  Surely a good attorney could word this for him properly!

From the sounds of your posts, it does not seem as though your husband and his attorney have had good and clear communication. My advice - and isn't legal advice - is for him to sit down with his lawyer and iron out what he is seeking.  That may also help in the situation you posted regarding the judge.  Many times the judges don't favor one party over another, but one party is more prepared and states more clearly what their objective is during the proceedings.  Then it is easier for the judge to agree with that party.  Your hubby may want to write down a list of what he is seeking and take it with him during a visit to his attorney.  Being prepared and clear can save a LOT of legal fees, too. 

[sport22]

Thanks Annie!!! This situation has been vague since the beginning. It took him 2 1/2 years to get the divorce (waiting on the judge over 9 months to issue a ruling once it went to court) He spent over $12,000 in legal fees and is left with this vague decree. During this time, his lawyer would even charge him when we sent her faxes with info to help her. The decree does look like some lay person wrote it and not a judge. The insurance is just one thing but the ex is one who keeps saying- I'm getting everything that is coming to me. If she is not MADE to get the ins. she will not. Let's put it this way, she has a Master's Degree in Education but makes the choice to work as a teacher's aide.

He has a new lawyer now who is trying to straighten things out but the judge tells the attorneys to work things out first. However, the ex will not bend. Please give me any advice you have because we feel overwhelmed and defeated. Even after she admitted to physically abusing him for 10 years, he got the shaft. What questions should we be asking the new attorney? Thanks for the help!

[anniewalker]

The decree does look like some lay person wrote it and not a judge.

Judges don't write them, attorneys do and then the judge signs it.

the ex is one who keeps saying- I'm getting everything that is coming to me.

She probably has some anger / hurt over the divorce, too. Even if it is unfounded in your opinion, she may still harbor some pain and / or resentment and feel she deserves anything and everything she can get out of her ex.  Many people see divorce as a way to get revenge or make the other party pay, instead of simply a way to disolve a contract (marriage).

If she is not MADE to get the ins. she will not. Let's put it this way, she has a Master's Degree in Education but makes the choice to work as a teacher's aide.

And I wouldn't either if someone else was footing the bill.  Would you?  As for her degree and choice of jobs, I have been told that getting a teaching job in Alabama is very competitive.  There are too many teachers and not enough jobs which equates to low pay.  Her best option may be to move to another state (such as Georgia) where there are teacher shortages and they earn more money.  You mentioned there are children.  Be careful what you wish for because you just may get it.  If you / your hubby push her to get a job and she moves to Georgia or Illinois or Timbuktu will that be a better situation?  ALSO - teaching is not a stable position until you acquire tenure.  If she takes insurance now and then is not re-hired next year, she'll be in a pickle.

He has a new lawyer now who is trying to straighten things out but the judge tells the attorneys to work things out first. However, the ex will not bend.

Judges very rarely hear all of the gorey details.  There are standard visitation schedules and standard child support rates for when people can't agree.  When it comes to insurance coverage for adults, who gets the silverware, who gets the frequent flier miles, and how to split the proceeds from a stock sale - it is up to the parties and their attorneys to work that stuff out.  They may want to try mediation.  My advice is for him to make a list of what is "wrong" with the divorce as it is now.  Then make a list of what he'd like it to be.  Right now wife has insurance for 36 months or until she decides to take insurance offered to her.  He wants it to be 36 months or until insurance becomes available to her.  And so on and so forth.

My last bit of advice is for you to take the backseat.  It sounds like emotions are running high and having the current wife in the mix is just going to add to the drama.  I know you are supporting your hubby, but you could also be antagonizing the ex (which I know probably doesn't matter a hill of beans to you) and that could make this drag out even longer.  The nicer the two of them are to each other, the sooner they agree, and the sooner this is over. 

That's my 2 cents worth of free advice.