New on here

[babyjaikubsmysoul]

Hi Everyone,

I am very new to this. I found it while researching emotions surrounding divorce. I am a 24 yr old that just found out my husband has been activly seeking, and found, another woman to spend his time with. We have had many problems within the last year but the last few months have been the worst. Two separations and many lies. I know divorce is the best thing and I dont think I can ever trust him again but I have a one yr old son with him so infortunately must deal with him on a pretty frequent basis. Everytime I hear his voice it sends me into tears. I am still holding on to the amazing man I married and wondering what happened to him. I feel very inadequate and worthless to him. Here I am hurting terribly while he has already moved on. He is still maintaining his innocence regardless of the concrete proof I have. He is acting completely unphased by it all. I miss him at night and of course the adult endeovours we all enjoy with our spouses. I am just very lost and lonely and hurting terribly and not sure how to handle it all. I am very alone as I have no family really. My mom is in a different state and no family where I live, I am looking at spending thanksgiving and christmas completely alone. Someone please help. I cant stop the tears no matter how hard I try.

crystal

[Aim]

Welcome to HEO- glad you found us.
Many of us have been in your shoes.

Above All- Please know and remind yourself that you are going to be okay (you really will be!)

Try to limit conversation with him (child issues only) Can you use email or texting?

If you need to talk with him- write a list to help you stay on topic- it will help you stick to the reason for the call  and will help you keep your emotions in check.

I would have a list by the phone and add to it as I thought of things I needed to say/ ask him- I would wait until he called me (I was too emotional to call him) and would go through the list.

If he calls you to ask a question- Remember that you do not have to have an immediate answer, you can say "I'll get back to you on that"

If he says something that upsets you (BTDT) know that within 24hrs- your emotions will die down and you will see the situation w/o the emotions (another reason to wait before responding to what he says)

What does your town offer for young parents/ kids (library programs, family centers, play groups???) If you can get out to local kid places and meet parents- you will find support- kids really help parents meet and connect.

We will be here to help you through- take things one day at a time and keep posting!

[Aim]

One more thing-

Physical activity really helps with the emotions- I would walk by myself or with friends-

Even I could see its benefits- on days I didn't get a walk in - I would be quite emotional!

So load up the stroller and head out for a walk!

[Wolfy]

Baby

We have all started out from where you are. It is a tough position to be in but things will get better. The longer you can stay apart from him the better things will get. Time does heal all wounds. It's a rough ride going through a divorce. When you are lonely and thinking about him remember that he is not the man you married. He has become someone else that you don't want to be with. Has he really moved on, or has he degressed in his maturity? You will cry a lot now. That's normal. Your brain is sorting through everything you are going through.

[Moderator1]

Hi Everyone,

I am very new to this. I found it while researching emotions surrounding divorce. I am a 24 yr old that just found out my husband has been activly seeking, and found, another woman to spend his time with. We have had many problems within the last year but the last few months have been the worst. Two separations and many lies. I know divorce is the best thing and I dont think I can ever trust him again but I have a one yr old son with him so infortunately must deal with him on a pretty frequent basis. Everytime I hear his voice it sends me into tears. I am still holding on to the amazing man I married and wondering what happened to him. I feel very inadequate and worthless to him. Here I am hurting terribly while he has already moved on. He is still maintaining his innocence regardless of the concrete proof I have. He is acting completely unphased by it all. I miss him at night and of course the adult endeovours we all enjoy with our spouses. I am just very lost and lonely and hurting terribly and not sure how to handle it all. I am very alone as I have no family really. My mom is in a different state and no family where I live, I am looking at spending thanksgiving and christmas completely alone. Someone please help. I cant stop the tears no matter how hard I try.

crystal

Crystal. I am very sorry as your account has been accidentally deleted among several hundred spammers that crawled the boards this weekend. Can you please sign up again and PM me so that we can make sure you're flagged away from the spam accounts.

[Sluggo]

Nice going, Mod...... (just kidding)

Come on back, Crystal......

[chill]

Nice going, Mod...... (just kidding)

Come on back, Crystal......

hahaha......sorry mt.   But it was funny.

[Moderator1]

Not mt, sorry. mt wouldn't have made that mistake. 

[chill]

still funny. lol

[m_t]

Not mt, sorry. mt wouldn't have made that mistake. 

Thanks, dude. Especially for picking up the slack - as you know, think]gs have been a bit... challenging... over the past month or so...

[teddybear]

It's 'almost' like a death . . . the person that you perceived him to be is not really who he is.  Now, eff that, what do you want to do with the rest of your marvelous life?