someone to talk to!!!! please

[kikayme23]

hi! im new here,  i was looking for a person whom i wanted to talk to, untill i found this.  im 32 years old , single have a job. im a mistress for almost 10years. i met this guy when my boyfriend and i broke up, he is one of the big boss in our company. he talk to me when i was crying then we go out sharing some stories about life, he tell me about his family how his married work out that time. he told me that his relationship w/ his wife was on the rocks. ..... we kept seeing each other until i found out that im falling for him. i accepted him for what he is . even he has own family w/ 5 kids i accepted it. we never live in one place. just everyday we see each other sometimes we go to motel  and i pay for it. until one day her wife told her stepped out in their house. he do that i ask him where did you live now? can i go to your place? he said that he lives w/ his friends . i believed in him. one night his cellphone ring i told him to answer but he didnt. i got mad  i ask him who is that why you dont answer? are you hiding something? he replied no!!!!!!. until one morning i received a message in my cellphone, asking who am i and what is my relationship to this guy. ive never answer. buy i immediately forwarded the message to him and asking for it. he said that maybe thats only my wife . but  she kept sending messages to me.  saying that this guy living to him and they have 3 children the eldest is 20 years old. i was very very shock. i ask him if its true at first he denied it. but later on he said yes. it is very very very painful this happened on february 10, 2009. i cant tell to my parents what hapening to me coz they dont know. even my friends doesnt know about it. i dont know what to do. if im in work i pretend that everything is ok even in our home. but when im alone im crying. until now im suffering for it. to be honest he didnt spent every single centavo, caused i understand that he needs money to support for their 5 children on his true wife. but i didnt know that he has another 3 children in the other woman, after going on me she directly going to the house of the other woman spending time till morning. gosh!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know what to do. so much pain . february 11, 2009. i talked to him what are your plans. he said that his going to lived his other mistress and look for another house. i told him ok ill help you, february 12, i received a message again. the other mistress saying that she wanted to talk to me. i gave her a call for my own peace. the i found out that this guy cried and telling that please forgive me and lets live happily together, shiiit it was a bomb to me. lst night he told me that his going to live . but thats not the truth. the girl wanted 3 of us to see. for what? to guy to choose me or her??? i know that the guy will ot choose me coz he has a 3 kids in this girl. and me nothing. i spent almost 10 years of my life. he told me that he loves me. love? is this what he calls love? hurting me not only hurting. i dont have a respect for my self. imagine when he told me that his living w/ his friends in a small house. i pity every time i go the grocery i will tell him please get what you need. so that you have foor to eat i didnt know that the grocery and the food that im giving is for her mistress and 3 children. thats another bullshit of me....... his salary will be given to his mistress, but me kept on giving him since i have no idea whats happening. i didnt found out in 10 years that his betrayed me........... just i need an advice im young only 32, the guy is 56. the other mistress is 35. the other mistress they live for 20 years. on his true family he has 5 children . on his true family they kept on texting me calling me and saying bad words against me but i accepted it. the truth is he used me to his original wife to cover up the other mistress coz they have 3 children  there. just to divert and focus the attention on me. thanks for reading i cant cry coz im writing this in the office. im doing this at least to lessen and to release the pain  that im suffering me alone .

[Ros]

Hi Kikayme,

I am here if you want to talk.

Did you realise that this is sexual harrassment, although I am not sure what country you're in. (Japan?)

You need to put a big distance between yourself and your boss/lover. How many of your co-workers know what is going on? If you resign, could you find another job?

[belle]

If he will cheat WITH you, he'll cheat ON you.

[Ann Marie]

Sucks to be you, huh?

I have no respect for women like you. Guess this remark is what you were looking for, eh?

Pay backa a BITCH, ain't it?

[TC]

Ya know, there are always two sides to every story A.M. and personally, I hesitate to pass judgement too quickly....when I do, it normally makes me out to be the fool.

None of us are perfect...not a one of us can say we haven't made a mistake in our lives....God knows I have.

Just sayin....

TC

[Ann Marie]

Ya know, there are always two sides to every story A.M. and personally, I hesitate to pass judgement too quickly....when I do, it normally makes me out to be the fool.

None of us are perfect...not a one of us can say we haven't made a mistake in our lives....God knows I have.

Just sayin....

TC

Well...we can agree to disagree on this one TC.

To log, too much knowledge of knowing the truth and continuing the affair.

This is a divorce site for God's sake!

Sorry, my opinion stays the same. She got what she deserves.

Let the pain continue in my opinion. She shoul;d have stopped the affair when she knew he had children and still with his wife. There is NO excuse in my opinion, so she deserves all the pain she's going through. Maybe she can now relate to his wife's pain.

[TC]

Not condoning bad choices....just saying we have all made our share and in my opinion, if you really want to be angry with someone, be angry with the ass-wipe who abandoned his wife and children.  We don't know what lies he told....probably more than we can imagine.....

As for this being a divorce site...the parent site is about divorce, this board is about helping each other....and I think most everyone deserves at least a bit of a chance.

But, we all choose our own paths in life......interstingly...I wonder what Jesus would do in a situation like this?

TC

[ResetDad]

Hi Kikayme,

Sounds as though you are going through a really tough time.  It might even be hitting you worse because besides the pain of him cheating on you, you might also be realizing the pain you caused by cheating with him.

Not sure if you are looking for advice or just wanting to get this off your chest.

My advice to you would be this:
-We all make mistakes, learn from yours and move on.  What Belle said is right, "If he will cheat WITH you, he'll cheat ON you."  If you want a real lasting relationship, you need to dump this loser pronto.  No more games, end the affair and start your life over.

-Your actions have hurt many other people.  Accept the blame for your actions, plead guilty to his family, tell them it is over, and ask for their forgiveness.  They may not give it to you, but I think it will ease your own conscience and give them some closure.

-Again ... you need to end your relationship with him now, cutting off all contact with him would probably be the easiest way to do this.  Once you dump the loser, you might want to explain things to your own family, you never know - they may forgive you and try to help you 

I really hope you can work your way out of this situation. 

[Ann Marie]

Not condoning bad choices....just saying we have all made our share and in my opinion, if you really want to be angry with someone, be angry with the ass-wipe who abandoned his wife and children.  We don't know what lies he told....probably more than we can imagine.....

As for this being a divorce site...the parent site is about divorce, this board is about helping each other....and I think most everyone deserves at least a bit of a chance.

But, we all choose our own paths in life......interstingly...I wonder what Jesus would do in a situation like this?

TC

I don't respect the asswipe either, however, she is the one posting and she is the one knowing full well he had a wife and children when she got into this. Therefore, her posting is who i'm addressing here.

As I said, we can agree to disagree on this one TC. I don't feel one ounce of sorrow for her. She deserves every bit of pain she's feeling in my opinion.

Jesus probably would say:

Go and sin no more, but i'm not Jesus, so this is my opinion.

She may want to concider going to Jesus on this one.

JMO's

[Ros]

Ann Marie,

If you read the post and language, Kikayme isn't english first language and if she was at the office when she wrote it, its very likely she's in Asia.

There are a whole lot of other cultural issues at play here, including the fact that she was 22 when this started, with her boss in a country that's more than likely difficult to even find a job to feed and support your own family.

Cut her some slack.

[Cannotbehappening]

im a mistress for almost 10years.

I think this says it all. You brought this pain on yourself. Getting involved with someone married doesn't equal love, it equals adultery. Go get counseling for yourself, if it is available, and end this affair which has probably been bringing immense amounts of pain to some who didn't bring it on themselves - your lover's spouse and all the children with her.

[H0$$]

I think I have to side with Ros here. Although I don't think anyone here condones adultery or such, this is a person from a totally different culture than our own. And let me remind people that pain is pain regardless of which side of "right or wrong" you're on.

[H0$$]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-NwAg7XRG4&feature=related

[Cannotbehappening]

I think I have to side with Ros here. Although I don't think anyone here condones adultery or such, this is a person from a totally different culture than our own. And let me remind people that pain is pain regardless of which side of "right or wrong" you're on.

When you stick your hand on a hot stove, it will get burnt. And pain may be pain on both sides, but pain brought about by your own choice should be expected. I'm not casting stones, and hope this woman gets help, but I certainly don't feel sorry for someone who brings their own pain on themself through their own choice.

[Ros]

I would normally agree with you................except for this

 im 32 years old , single have a job. im a mistress for almost 10years. i met this guy when my boyfriend and i broke up, he is one of the big boss in our company.

There's a whole lot of parts to this - that made the power balance problematic from the beginning.

She's not a total victim and I think she's well aware of it - but her boss She's still desperately hurting........time for her own self-recriminations when she's a few degrees removed from the pain.