Early Neutral Financial Evaluator

[Emptynester]

Situation
   My husband left in October for no real reason other than it is something he felt he had to do.  We had been married for 27 years. (We are both 54).  He said from the start that if I asked spousal maintenance he would take me to court and that I wouldn't stand a chance.  5 different attorney's that I have consulted & the one I have retained say otherwise.  He wants to do an up front settlement - but we don't have a lot of assets.  Our net worth including retirement is $255,000 ($135,000 is retirement).  We have absolutely no savings.  My husband's proposal is that I keep the house, my car & my retirement.  After subtracting what he keeps it comes to a total of $28,000.  Seeing he makes more than 2x more than I do - this is not adequate.  He makes $120,000/year & I make $42,000/year. 

His attorney suggested that we meet with an Early Neutral Financial Evaluator.  The only problem is that the county we live in does not have any ENFE's - but the county next to us does.  If we used the one from the next county - we would be paying them out of our pocket & I probably would be doing it against the advice of my attorney.  However, it makes sense to me to try this approach.  We wouldn't be bound to this - but it would give us perspective of where we at.  My attorney seems to think we can't do it because it isn't in our county.  That is where the problem comes. 

Just curious on your opinion on using an Early Neutral Financial Evaluator in our situation.
Thank you.

[TC]

I really have no experience with this so what I'm about to say is just off the cuff and gut feeling, so take it for what it is worth.

Seems to me that if you have retained an attorney after talking to five that you found one you liked and felt comfortable with.  Although I am a big advoccate of the fact that the attorney works for you, not the other way around.  However, having said that, I also believe that we have to seriously consider our attorney's advice and recommendations....afterall, that is what we pay them for.

In this case, if your attorney advises against going out of the county, then I think I I would discuss options within the county...for instance going through normal mediation.  You said your main objective with the Financial dude was to gain perspective, well, isn't that also possible if you use a mediator within your county?  I really don't think that you have to have a financial guru as the go between to get perspective on this matter.  Further, if you use a mediator within your county, they will more than likely file a report with the court, which could well be in your best interest should the court end up having to make a ruling on this matter down the road.

That is my advice....again, I"m not an attorney and I have no experience with these financial gurus, but this is still how I would approach the situation were it me.

TC

[Emptynester]

Thank you.  I like what you said about the mediator - which is the way we are eventually going and I can use that in my defense to respond to my STBX last email which was more or less ordering me to think for myself and not hide behind the attorney & make my own decision. 

[ResetDad]

I also have no experience with this, these are just my thoughts;
I don't see any problem with seeing the ENFE in another county.  The report may not be filed in your county but it is just for helping to clarify your (and your stbx's) financial situation anyway.  I do think someone with a financial background is probably more likely to understand certain financial implications related to property division than others.  Things like time-value of retirement funds and current and future income and property tax ramifications due to property divisions and dispersements.

As long as you are not bound by the EFNE's recommendations then I don't see a problem with it.

Just my opinion ... and that's not worth much

Best of luck to you as you work through this

[Lee Borden]

Here's a thought: if you're confident you would win at trial, go to trial. Quit pussy-footin' around with a process your husband is probably going to try to undermine anyway. Sometimes the direct approach is the best one. And the sooner you get to trial the more of your limited resources you'll have to get good legal representation at that trial.

[Emptynester]

Thank you Lee.  That is exactly what I'm going to do.