Child support, Alimony, and a green card

[LostNConfused]

I hope someone has some information for me.  I feel lost and confused.  I married a woman from overseas.  We have been legally married for 28 months (we married overseas), but she has only been in the US for 22 months.  She has a son from a previous marriage that I did not adopt.  After many, many attempts to make this marriage work, it is over.  Divorce is our only viable option.  She does not yet have her permanent resident green card.

She has some friends, who are also resident aliens.  They are telling her that she can get her green card without being married the required two years.  And that I will have to pay her child support and alimony.  I think they might also be telling her that she will be able to get half of all of my assets.

I don't have much in the way of assets, so that becomes easier.  And I have $14K in debt from our wedding, honeymoon, travel etc.  And i know that in Alabama she cannot touch my retirement because we haven't been married for 10 years or more.

Can someone help me with some viable information here?  I want to know what I am talking about before I approach this subject with her.  I am trying to resolve this without going to court which will drain all of my financial resources to less than zero.

Thanks in advance for any advice, well...other than NEVER marry someone from overseas! :-)

[TC]

Under normal circumstances, unless you adopt the child, you can't be held accountable for child support.

However, I have no idea how things work when your stbx is a foreign national....or how much of your assets she is entitled to.

I understand that you don't want this to go to court...however, it will definately be in your best interest to spend a few of your dollars and consult an attorney on this. 

Lee may have some answers for you if he has time to respond....or Collegedad...but I'm guessing that neither has much experience in this particular arena.

Wish I had more information for you....

TC

[CollegeDad]

Okay LC, 

I don't have direct experience with this but I do have a friend that just went through a divorce and she has a child from a previous marriage and she is a foreign national.  She was married to someone in the military and they came to this country.  After about 3 or 4 years here the marriage didn't work out and they got a divorce.  Apparently she had applied for a green card with her husband as her sponsor.  She was able to obtain the green card before the husband withdrew as her sponsor.  In the divorce she received alimony for a short period of time.  This was mainly because of the difference in income that she made versus what her husband made.  It was only awarded for a limited time.  It was more or less money to allow her to get on her feet as she transitioned from being married to being divorced with a dependent child.  Her husband never adopted her son so there was no child support awarded for the child since it was not his child. 

In her case, the divorce simply went along the lines of a typical Alabama divorce.  An award of alimony will depend on your specific situation.  If she makes much less money than you, and if you have been married for several years she could be awarded some alimony.  I believe my friend had only been married for about 3 years.  In her case, physical abuse was involved and there were police reports and charges pending against the husband.  That factors into alimony as it is sometimes used as punishment for misbehavior in a marriage.  I can't say how your judge will look at your marriage to determine any alimony.  I tend to think it is not likely if the marriage was very short and there are no allegations of abuse. 

As far as a property settlement is concerned, I don't know who your wife is talking to but here again this would be determined by the typical divorce norms in Alabama (assuming that you have established legal residence in Alabama).  In my opinion (and I'm not an attorney) based on my experience and what I've seen is in the state of Alabama you take away from the marriage what you brought into it and anything that was given to you by your relatives and friends.  Anything that you earned or accumulated during the marriage as a husband and wife is rightfully split between the two of you.  You are absolutely correct that retirement is out of the question because you haven't yet been married 10 years. 

It doesn't sound like you and her are in the process of getting a green card for her but one thing you need to know about sponsoring someone to become a US citizen is that once they become a US citizen you as the sponsor are responsible for financially supporting them at the federally defined poverty level as long as they are in the country.  This is a federal law.  It has nothing to do with your divorce.  I know this because my best friend is an immigration attorney.  So, if you haven't started any of this, don't.

As far as what you tell her, you can let her know that you are keeping everything you brought in the marriage, you are keeping your retirement, and you are not voluntarily paying her any alimony.  You can tell her she is not going to have much chance of getting alimony because of how short the marriage was and you have not abused her in anyway.  You can also tell her that you are not going to help her with US citizenship but you might offer to help pay her way back home because she is not going to be able to stay in this country once you are divorced.  You can tell her that there is a time limit that someone can legally stay in this country without a green card and once that limit is violated, US Immigration bans you from entering again or applying for citizenship for 10 years. 

Now I know a lot of people are going to think this ban doesn't hold much water in this country with all of the illegal aliens obviously walking around everywhere.  But our US immigration law bans anyone caught illegally in this country for 10 years. 

Now you can try to tell your wife all of this but I'm fairly confident if she's been told that she can get 1/2 of what you have and alimony to boot she is probably not going to believe anything that you say.  So, I don't know if you are going to be able to talk her out of seeking legal representation and dragging this thing through court anyway.  Ideally, you want to find the least expensive attorney that can draft up a non-contested divorce decree for you and get her to sign it and be done with it.  That would save you and her the most money.  You might be able to go this route if you can some how convince her that she has something to lose if she goes to court.  That is why I'm saying you could offer to pay her expenses to get back home.  You could offer her money to move and make the down payment on an apartment if she plans to stay in the country illegally or otherwise.  These are all things that come off the table if she contests it.  That is something for you to think about. 

Good luck. 

[LostNConfused]

Thank you very much CollegeDad.  One question from what said that comes up....we have not started any paperwork on the green card at this time.  And there is absolutely no abuse in this marriage at all.  But her freinds have told her that she can get a green card without me because she entered into the marriage in good faith even though it ended in divorce.  I pulled out one of the forms I had to submit for her visa (concerning support) and you are correct.  It states that I have to support her at the Federal Poverty level for 10 years, but also that anyone who gives her services (I assume they mean charity or government) can sue me to get their money back!  It also explicitly states that divorce does not exempt me from that requirement!

So, I wonder, is she correct that she can get her green card without me if our marriage ends in divorce?

[CollegeDad]

Okay,

I needed to make a correction to my previous post.  My immigration attorney friend clarified a few things for me over lunch today that I need to relay to you.  

If your wife is in the country she is probably here because you sponsored her on a green card.  You cannot withdraw your sponsorship.  I thought that you could but you can't.  So, strike what I said about sponsoring her.  You've probably already done that.  

As her sponsor (assuming this is what you've done) you are responsible to support her to the federally defined poverty level as long as she is in this country as a foreign national.  I don't know if she knows this or not but if she did she could just lay down and not get a job and you would be required to support her.  And this is all true whether she is in this country legally or illegally. As long as she is here you are responsible in marriage or in divorce.  Of course if she is here illegally you can also have her deported and your obligation would end but first lets talk about how she could become an illegal alien.  She does not become an illegal alien the minute you divorce her as I thought above.  

When you were married and you brought her into this coutnry she came into this country on a green card with a two year condition.  She is currently a conditional permanent resident with a green card.  This is done by immigration to serve as a follow up check to see if the marriage was just a sham to get someone in the country.  When the two years is up on this conditional status the both of you or she alone can file for unconditional permanent resident status.  She'll have to go back to immigration for another interview where they'll ask about the marriage and how things are going.  Whether she is married to you or not it is unlikely that she will be denied removal of the condition.  When the condition is removed she will become a permanent resident with a green card and she can stay in this country as long as she chooses.  If she does not file to have the condition removed she will lose her green card and become an illegal alien in this country.  She should know about this two year time limit.  They tell you all of this in your interview with immigration when you apply for the green card in the first place.  

I think the worst case scenario for you is if she wanted to just lay down and have you support her for the rest of her life.  All she would have to do is have her green card changed to permanent resident status and you'd never be able to have her deported.  Seriously, I don't believe anyone would want to live in poverty just so they didn't have to work.  But this is a real possibility.  My friend has a client whose ex is trying to do this very thing right now.   You set yourself up for this worst case scenario if you divorce her and you count on her missing her two year deadline and losing her green card.  You'll be divorced from her but you'll be out of the loop as far as her green card status goes but yet you'll be responsible for her whether she's a legal resident or not.  

You'll have to decide whether you want to risk waiting to see if she forgets to apply for the condition to be removed so that you can have her deported.  As I've said above if she doesn't forget then she will have the option of living on you indefinitely as a pernanent resident as long as she chooses.  If she does decide to live this way she will never seek US citizenship because as soon as she becomes a US citizen your obligation as her sponsor ends.  

So,

if you want to take charge of this thing you really need to usher her toward US citizenship before you divorce.  She qualifies to apply for full US citizenship after you have been married and she has a green card living in this country for 3 years.  Its important for you to do this before you divorce because she cannot apply for US citizenship for 5 years after you are divorced.  That would make you obligated to support her until she can apply at the five year mark even if it were her desire to become a US citizen.  

So if you've already been married two years, it would be in your best interest, I'm convinced, to stay married one more year and push that paperwork through for her to get US citizenship.  She may view this as doing her a favor.  I don't know.  I believe it will really do you the most good.  If you think she has any desire to become a US citizen then you need to tell her that you are going to make that happen for her.  

Whatever you can do to get her to go along with this plan I believe would be the best for you.  Then, once she is a US citizen, your obligations to her become the same as any other ex husband that gets divorced from a very short marriage in the state of Alabama.  

Another year is really not that much longer when you think about how long a divorce is going to take anyway.  It will most likely take half a year to get divorced anyway even if it was uncontested which you've clearly indicated yours will not be.  So, another six months to get this obligation because of her foreign national status taken care of is not that long.  

Your case is very interesting.  You really have two problems sort of rolled up into one.  You have your obligation because of her citizenship status and your divorce.  I believe that it is imperative that you deal with the citizenship issue first.  You can be saving up money to pay for the divorce while you are waiting for her to become a US citizen.  

You are not in that deep that you can't manage your way out of this situation.  We live and we learn.  We make a few mistakes along the way and we grow by learning how to recover from those mistakes.  Hang in there.  I'm sure you can see your way out of this.  Let me know if this helped and the best of luck to you in this matter.  

[CollegeDad]

I stand corrected.  Your obligation cuts off at 10 years.  I was unaware of the services issue also. 

Still, 10 years is a long time and the services costs would not be fun either.  Hopefully you can convince her to become a US citizen.  Of course, if she misses that 2 year deadline, you can have her deported.  As I said above, her friends are right, she doesn't need your help to make that deadline.  So, if she is determined to make that deadline, your best course of action is to "help" her go ahead and become a US citizen. 

[LostNConfused]

Thank you very much for the information.  It has been extremely helpful.  I am pretty sure her friends have told her that I will have to support her.  She kept telling me this morning when we spoke that she knew she could get more money out of me that i was discussing even though she knows how difficult it is to meet bills each month.  I am also pretty sure she is interested in becoming an American citizen because she has talked about doing such so she can try to get her family here also.

So, I have some deep soul searching to do this week.  And bigger decision making.

Again, thank you very much for the information.  It has been very helpful.

[CollegeDad]

Let her think what she wants as long as she is willing to go along with the three year plan toward becoming a US citizen then you can deal with the divorce like every other divorce is dealt with in the state of Alabama.  You'll have all of that obligation because of her foreign national status off the table and you can focus on your divorce.  And she is not going to get as much as she might think in a short term marriage.  If you can get her a job between now and then, she'll have less argument for alimony also.  If the bills are tight, surely she would be motivated to make a little extra spending money of her own. 

How long will it be before she reaches her two year deadline?  If she is serious about meeting that deadline, she needs to file her paperwork 3 months in advance. 

You will see your way through this.  There is light at the end of the tunnel.  The good news for you is that you don't have any kids together.  You seem to be young enough to get past this down the road.  Hopefully this will be a small cloud to pass over you in the bigger context of your life.