No more money, can't get ex to settle - opinions on pro se?

[vjsnders]

I've been in a very adversarial divorce for past 3.5 years, spent at least $100,000 on attorney fees. I am seriously in debt and need to find a decent option to end this and move on. I just "won" a hearing where the judge set aside his tentative ruling in my final hearing because I proved that my ex had hidden assets (a fully-paid for condominium). There was no award of attorney fees - judge reserved the decision for later. I can't afford to keep going, but now we are back at square zero in terms of financial settlement.

Also, my spouse is ignoring court's orders to provide financial disclosure and the visitation schedule. How can I get some sort of fair financial settlement at this point - ex is not willing to come up with positive settlements and holds most of the cards because he is not currently in debt, he has control of a liquid marital asset (stock account) and also has control - with a lien - of the condominium he purchased with marital funds.

HELP please! I want this to be over and can't see how I can possibly go through another year of motions, hearings, etc. I certainly can't afford it. Thanks for any ideas. I did ask my atty if he would help me go pro se, and he said no.

[tthomkatt]

never go to court without an attorney, pro se is ok for minor civil problems,, but sounds like you need an attorney,, if you have ran up an attorney bill of $100,000 bucks your crazy, would have been better to just pay your ex the $100,000.  pro se means you lose, you cant question yourself properly, your ex's attorney will turn you into charcoal with the the grilling they will give you.  your screwed,,, i hear canada is nice.

[Wolfy]

Just to be clear, are you officially divorced? Or are you still In the process of divorcing. If you are not divorced yet, or, if the finances have not been settled then he could be held resposible for part of the $100,000. You may not be responsible for all of it.

[m_t]

How much is the condo worth, in terms of your 100k legal debt? Sometimes, one fights just to fight - it's easy to lose the forest for the trees. Perhaps it's time to sit down and have a serious think about how important the fight is - if you're standing to gain millions, it may be worth it. But if you'll end up with a pile of legal debt and having nothing more than "won" the fight? Not so much.

Pro se is doable, but it takes a lot of time and a lot of work to educate yourself on your state and local laws. The judge is unlikely to cut you any slack - you'll be expected to know how to conduct yourself, what the processes and procedures are, etc. And it's no surprise that your lawyer isn't inclined to help you - that's taking money out of HIS pocket. Few of us are willing to work for free, ya know?