Whose House is it anyway ??

[tltwpj]

Please HELP ME! I have been trying to get divorced for TWO YEARS in an " equitable property " state and the house remains the only issue.

House was purchased BEFORE the marriage titled jointly as tenants in common for $ 1,000,000.
I put up $ 500,000 cash and my STBX put up a loan of $ 450,000 ( in his name only ) and $ 50,000 cash.
DURING the marriage my STBX quit claimed to house to my Irrevocable Trust ( Trust was set up long before marriage ).
He loses his job, we borrow $ 250,000 from our HELC ( titled jointly ) to pay bills and construction costs on the remodel.
He becomes violent, nasty, I kick him out with help of police and restraining order.
He stops paying his mortgage and e-mails me telling me to have the bank " proceed with collection".
Mortgage company contacts me telling me forclosure is imminent.
I panic and start making mortgage payments on both his loan and our HELC and paying off all pending construction bills ( $ 150,000 ).
I sell my business and life insurance policy and stocks to do so.( all pre-marital assets )
My Trust sells the house to my grandmother's trust to avoid foreclosure as my money is running out.
I receive a check for $ 550,000.
House appraises for $ 1, 325,000 and granny buys it for that amount, pays off both loans.
STBX is now irate and is insisting on my paying him $ 200,000 to settle the matter.


Any feedback would be greatly appreciated !

[toadgirl]

OK I'm not an attny, however, as i understand it, it appears the house was not marital property because you purchased it before the marriage.  Even though he was a joint purchaser with you before the marriage, he quitclaimed it to you, so this was a gift.  Another issue is that he told you to put the house up for forclosure which is yet another indication that he didn't care about the outcome of the house.

This seems like a control issue to me, and that he has decided this is a hot button for you, so he just keeps pushing it.

[Lee Borden]

With this many zeroes, you can afford and therefore should hire good legal advice. Don't rush into anything until you truly understand the way a judge is likely to look at all of this.

[tltwpj]

Thank you for your response. I have spent $ 40,000 so far on attorneys and the divorce has stalled out. I am no farther ahead than I was on day one. I can not afford the big trial that the gladiators want to initiate. They want me to go into the money pit and tell me it will cost another $ 20,000 - $ 40,000 to fight the fight . Every attorney with whom I have spoken has told me that based on the facts he owes ME money. I am willing to walk away with nothing just to have peace in my life. He is still angry with me for leaving him and wants to hurt me by making me pay him something. He has run out of money too so the legal fight is on hold... Crazy, isn't it.

[toadgirl]

wow!  I'm not sure I like the judgement passed  by Lee here.  Just becasue there may appear to be more $$$$$ invovled, does not mean that the question should be summarily dismissed.  

Hey tltwpj, hang in there, i sense from your post that you might have most of your $$$ tied up in the house, sounds like you really need some help, otherwise you would not have posted for help.

If I run across anything that would help you I will post again with links.

:-)

[m_t]

wow!  I'm not sure I like the judgement passed  by Lee here.  Just becasue there may appear to be more $$$$$ invovled, does not mean that the question should be summarily dismissed.

You need to understand that Lee, as a licensed attorney, needs to be very careful about what he says so that it is not misconstrued as legal advice and/or as his representing anyone here in any way, shape or form. And frankly - you're usually much better off by retaining an attorney who can be privy to all of the details of your case. Stating that isn't judgmental. IMO.

[tltwpj]

Thank you for your response again. Yes, I understand that would put an attorney in a tough spot. Maybe someone else who has the answer for me and can answer it anonmously can help me. This issue has been tearing me up for 2 years now. Because of it I can not end my divorce. I can't afford another lawyer. It's a tough spot to be in and I am grasping for answers hoping that I can reason with my ex based on the facts and have him agree out of court. In the meantime, I do positive thinking exercises, yoga , and go to church to find peace in my life...

[tltwpj]

What is "IMO" ?

[m_t]

IMO = In My Opinion.

[TC]

Thank you for your response again. Yes, I understand that would put an attorney in a tough spot. Maybe someone else who has the answer for me and can answer it anonmously can help me. This issue has been tearing me up for 2 years now. Because of it I can not end my divorce. I can't afford another lawyer. It's a tough spot to be in and I am grasping for answers hoping that I can reason with my ex based on the facts and have him agree out of court. In the meantime, I do positive thinking exercises, yoga , and go to church to find peace in my life...

No one can give you the answers you seek based on the limited and one-sided information you have provided.  Lee's advice was as good as you are going to get...you need an Attorney and you need a good one.  Your ex has rights in this matter whether you want to admit them or not.  No, I'm not taking his side.....just stating the facts....and the only way you are going to get to the bottom of this and get it all straightened out is to get good sound legal advice from an attorney who can look at the entire picture, not just the limited piece you have painted here.

TC

[tltwpj]

Thanks for the comments.  I guess I'll go get another gladiator. Good thing I have a backbone of steel. It seems I'll need it.
Peace - out.