401k Loans

[Aunt Doe]

Any suggestions how I can explain to my future ex husband that the 401k loans are part of our debt? The only asset we have is our house which hopefully we can make some money on when we sell. However what profit we make will not pay off all of our debt. FYI, he does not want any part of my 401K.

[Jade]

Any suggestions how I can explain to my future ex husband that the 401k loans are part of our debt? The only asset we have is our house which hopefully we can make some money on when we sell. However what profit we make will not pay off all of our debt. FYI, he does not want any part of my 401K.

Have your lawyer explain it to his lawyer.  I wouldn't argue with him.  I would just stand firm on the issue. 

[Lee Borden]

Let me offer another option. As most of you know, if you can do so safely, I believe strongly that spouses can and should negotiate with each other about the terms of their divorce and not depend on their lawyers to do it. If you defer to your lawyers to do the negotiating, you'll be negotiating on the lawyers' issues, on the lawyers' timetable, and at the lawyers' hourly rates.

See if you can't get your husband to reconstruct where you and he were when you married and how the debt (used to benefit both of you) leaves you poorer. If that's not the case, maybe you SHOULD be taking it. If it is the case and your husband refuses to acknowledge it, you'll then have to make a decision to dig in your heels or just let it go.