Why I Hate Beepers
 

 

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Why I Hate Beepers

I have a special spot in my heart for beepers and pagers. They slow me down, and people who use them get a lower level of service. I added this page to explain why.

My office is set up to operate with extraordinary efficiency, so I can deliver top-flight service to people going through divorce and keep my prices low. One of the ways I do that is to have no staff and to rely on voicemail and systems instead.

People who have beepers think they're helping me when they tell me, "the easiest way to reach me is on my beeper." It may be easy for you, but it stinks for me. When I beep you, it's during the limited time that I have available to return phone calls to people. When you ask for me to beep you, you (quite naturally) expect that when you call back, I'll be patiently watching the phone waiting for your call. Frankly, that's my hope as well.

So I can have the phone free for your return call, I will wait to beep you until I've finished returning everybody else's call. Get the message? Give me a beeper number to use, and you'll be the last call I return. Every time. Never fail.

And of course, when I beep you, you probably won't call me back. I understand. Just as I can't drop everything every time you call, you can't drop everything for me either. The result is that I have limited patience with people who force me to use a beeper to reach them. The simple solution is for you to have some kind of place where I can leave a secure voicemail message. If you don't have one set up, call BellSouth at 205-557-6500 and ask for "Message Link" (costs $13 per month).

Okay, I'm going to climb down off my soapbox now.

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