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742 - How Do I Get the Kids Through This?One of the first things you can do to help your children cope with divorce is to tell them about it frankly, preferably when i spouses and all the children are together. Many parents mistakenly assume their children aren't able to handle hearing about a divorce, so they try to keep them in the dark. In the vast majority of cases where parents are contemplating divorce, children already know that something is dreadfully wrong. What they imagine is wrong is often much worse than reality, so hearing honestly about the divorce directly from their parents may actually help reduce some of their fears. During the divorce process, it's important that you be available to listen to them, without feeling a need to defend the decisions you're making. Children, particularly young children, usually assume that the divorce is their fault. One of the most important things you can do in divorce is to reassure your children early and often that the divorce is not their fault. The most important thing you can do, though, is to avoid involving children in the conflict between the two of you. Children need a close and loving relationship with both their parents. Even if they want to take your side because of the terrible things your spouse has done, it's not healthy for them to do this, and you need to discourage it. Parents shouldn't criticize each other to their children. They shouldn't argue about issues in front of the children; use the children to send messages to the other parent, or ask the children to tell them what the other parent is doing. Divorce is hard enough on kids ... it's important for parents to do everything they can to keep it from being any harder on the children than necessary. Alabama Family Law Center serves clients who need to get through divorce and who are able to be reasonably cooperative. The goal is for both spouses to survive divorce and move on with their lives with some money in their pockets and their dignity intact. No representation is made that the quality of the legal services to be performed is greater than the quality of legal services performed by other lawyers. If you'd like to make an appointment with me, call 205-979-6960. Or you can click here to return to the Divorce Line. |
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