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741 - How Does Visitation Work?Children need both their parents. If you're the custodial parent, please know that even if the other parent has done something awful to you, that doesn't mean it's a bad idea for the other parent to spend time with the children. If you're about to be a single parent, know that the one thing you can do to make your children easier to raise is to make sure they spend regular time with the other parent. The standard visitation used in Jefferson County is pretty straightforward. If Mom is the custodial parent, it's first and third weekends, a week between Christmas and New Year, every other Thanksgiving and every other Spring Break, up to a month in the summer, every other birthday of the child, Dad's birthday, and Father's Day, as well as any other times on which the parents can agree. If you're the noncustodial parent, that may seem sterile and confining, and to be honest, if you approach it that way, it will be. On the other hand, if you actually use all the time that's available to you and you focus on your children during that time you may find that you're a much better parent and a much more involved parent than you were when you were married. You certainly would be a better and move involved parent than the average married parent in America. The key is to clear your schedule during those times and actually focus on your children. You don't have to spend a lot of money. Just be with them, listen to them, be goofy with them. You will create memories that will last a lifetime. If your children are teenagers, the first thing to understand is that, if your children are typical, they won't be spending as much time with either of you as you would like. This is their time to break away from parents, and both of you are going to need to be flexible and attentive ‑ and if at all possible cooperative ‑ to make your child spends time with both parents. One last thing: don't assume that if both parents agree on a visitation pattern that the judge will approve it. In Jefferson and Shelby Counties, it's not at all unusual for the judge to reject a visitation plan even if the parties are in full agreement, particularly if it calls for too much switching back and forth between parents. Alabama Family Law Center serves clients who need to get through divorce and who are able to be reasonably cooperative. The goal is for both spouses to survive divorce and move on with their lives with some money in their pockets and their dignity intact. No representation is made that the quality of the legal services to be performed is greater than the quality of legal services performed by other lawyers. If you'd like to make an appointment with me, call 205-979-6960. Or you can click here to return to the Divorce Line. |
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