Some of these are "tongue in cheek" while others are
tell tale signs that commonly appear when someone is having an affair.
There is no copyright. Feel free to forward to those who might be
1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet,
and you've had a vasectomy.
2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you.
(They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what
a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)
3) He stops confiding in you and seeking advice from
4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you
5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like
Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.
6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout
7) She buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know.
8) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is
billed to his office.
9) He carries condoms, and you are on the pill.
10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the
11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to
12) He becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being
true to him, usually out of guilt.
13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think
it's possible to love more than one person at a time?"
14) He buys himself new underwear.
15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out
of his car.
16) She stops wearing her wedding ring.
17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.
18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her
neck or back.
19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.
20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.
21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.
22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never
shows up on the pay stub.
23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.
24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day
or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days.
25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of
26) Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your
27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her
28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer,
especially after you have gone to bed.
29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his
mistress's house and had to eat the dinner I prepared when he got home.
30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on
trips, more than previously.
31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or
after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt.
32) The amount of money being deposited into your
checking account drops off.
33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small
gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.
34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is
"touchy" and easily moved to anger.
35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or
she hears your voice.
36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the
37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that
something is not right.
38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards
everyone in the home.
39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or
hangs up quickly.
40) She has a "glow" about her.
41) Atypical erratic behavior.
42) He sneaks out of the house.
43) She sleeps with her purse by the bed.
44) She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5
45) He tells you can get hold of him at a different
46) The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to
ask that question in the first place.
Dr. Huizenga is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 20
years of professional experience, working with hundreds of couples and
thousands of individuals. He has done extensive research and study in the
specialty area of extramarital affairs.